Milk Stupor

"Mom those butterflies are really bothering me"

2011-05-24T09:52:00.000-07:00

Abby had her dance recital this past weekend, it went very well and she did wonderfully. For her first experience being on stage in front of a large crowd she was very composed and remembered all her steps well.. but oh those butterflies! Poor thing was so nervous, she tried really hard to contain it and we had numerous discussions about how being nervous was perfectly normal and it happened to everyone. I stuffed her full of as much banana as I could (due to it's perhaps real or perhaps imaginary calming properties that at least made me feel like I had done everything I could.) Then dropped her off at the backstage area with a passel of other kids all in various stages of undress, and hoped and prayed that all would go well.

Abby has undergone a softening of her previously fiercely self assured personality in the past little while. She is feeling more, and acting less, she is growing up and becoming more aware of herself inside her surroundings which can be enlightening and terrifying too. So I wasn't sure whether she would calmly let me leave her to the chaos of the room or hang onto my legs sobbing and fervently request to accompany me to my seat.

Luckily, and I have a beautiful little girl in a sailors suit to thank for this, she made a friend instantly. They spent their time before the performance parading around together introducing each other to their classmates. SO really I had nothing to worry about, my little Abby who so easily makes friends and treats them well always rises to the top, not that I was worried mind you.... really... wasn't worried...

She danced beautifully and when we met her after the performance with two of her very best friends a bouquet of roses from mom and dad, and a potted gerbera daisy from Papa and Grandma she almost cried from joy. This child amazes me everyday, she is so thoughtful and considerate, intelligent and inquisitive, I see myself, then Seth then something completely amazing and new in her.

I was told about sleepless nights, I was warned about frustration, fear and worry, I was aware I would never have any free time again. But no one mentioned the awe, the elation, the pride and wonderment that having and raising a child brings to your life. The love that almost rips you in two.

4 pounds of strawberries

2011-05-09T15:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Mother's Day. In a botched attempt to decorate a cake at the local grocery store we found ourselves walking the aisles at 10am on Sunday. A normally quiet time of day there was the odd shopper getting a last minute boquet, or bag of oranges, or in our case 4 pounds of strawberries because Norah is a maniac for them and they were on sale.

The rail thin blond women barely able to walk down the aisle caught my attention immediately. It always amazes me that when I am out with my children and there is something outside the norm how quickly the fight reflex rears up, (for the record I have yet to find my flight reflex, but that's just who I am.) And this gal was pinging all the 'abnormal' alarm bells for me, maybe 80 pounds, 8 inch heels, ripped jeans, ripe smell, several glittery ripped worn out t-shirts overlapping... and keeping steady only by holding the hand of the small 4 year old child walking beside her.

I must admit that my very first reaction was to fiercely fight down an impulse to run over and grab the child. No child should have to steady their mother while she lopes sinuously down a grocery store aisle like a drunk Giraffe. Or look up the scarred and trackmarked arm to dilated pupils and a stupid cheshire grin. That adorable boy who repeated and repeated the list to his mother while she stared at him and stroked his face over and over repeating words of affection.

I wondered if she saw him, or even knew where she was.

The moment really stuck with me through the day, I went to a lovely affair titled Listen to Your Mother and amid moments of laughter and grief shared with a roomful of mothers, mothers to be, or the mothered I thought again of that blond gal and her son. Did she love him? Did she love him more than the drugs coursing through her veins?

I am so lucky, I know who I am, what I want and where I am going. I can take care of my children and be present for their daily lives. In a brief moment of viewing someone else's I know that despite the moments of hardship and frustration, despite not always feeling appreciated or noticed or special, I have one very important thing. Myself. and I can teach my children to be strong and vital and take care of their bodies and minds, that love is kind and gentle and fierce and fiery but it is never ever selfish.

Ruminations on Ukrainian Prairie food and Sick PreSchoolers

2011-03-26T20:21:00.000-07:00

Well folks just when we were finally on the road to recovery Abby found herself another virus. March has been the worst month in recent memory for sickness around here, both the kids had back to back viruses and missed over two weeks of outings and school between the two of them. Then Seth got sick which immediately was an ear infection (also loads of fun should you ever wonder fleetingly about infecting the ears of a man who has a broken ear drum and a compromised immune system- vote yes- vote a total riot.)

And just when we thought that things were looking healthier around here, Kablammo! Abby is sick again. Hopefully Norah can avoid the extreme fever and chills that had Abby ( and subsequently Seth and myself) up until 5am this morning. I do suppose that the one really really good thing about one of us being sick is that it immediately trips my 'soup trigger' and has me thinking steaming bowls of tasty stoup. Oh yes that "t" is in there for a reason, I cannot actually make a soup per say, but I am a master craftsman of the Stew+Soup=Stoup. My Stoup is always intended to be a soup, but alas far more vegetable, meat and rice/noodles/potatoes fit in than I ever expect. If there is room in the broth it just doesn't look full enough to me and so I add, and add, and add until... Stoup. I suppose the only real reason that it isn't just called a Stew is that I intended it, however briefly, to be a soup when I began.

This particular stoup was a great hit and even had Abby munching away despite the non-appetite of a cold. Let me introduce: Ukrainian Prairie Soup, otherwise known as the best damn soup I have ever made. This was such a great meal, and it immediately reminded Seth and I of growing up in Alberta with the huge Ukrainian population and all the tasty yummy delectable food that should be eaten and available everywhere... but isn't. I must admit that I took it for granted that I could go to the store and buy a 5 kg bag of perogies for 7 dollars, did you hear that 5KG of PEROGIES? Or how about a tray of cabbagerolls, tasty rolls of meat and rice covered with that great tomato sauce, seriously!! I mean the trouble I could get into with that these days!

But alas, not here in warm and rainy Spokane, perogies and cabbagerolls are simply the stuff of harsher winters where the only reason you leave the decently warm bus to walk home in the freezing/windy/icy/snowy/wasteland is because you know that there is 5kgs of perogies waiting for you. Or at least I tell myself this so I won't spend every hungry moment bemoaning the lack of perogies and cabbage rolls. Anyway back to the stoup, here we are folks a stoup that tastes just like cabbage rolls and then some. Granted it lacks ground beef, but I am sorta picky about ground beef in soups and I would have told you I hated that the lovely fatty tasty amazing ground beef that should be a hamburger or a meatloaf is floating in a liquid. BUT then I had some ground beef soup at the lovely Sarah's house and well.... she may have changed my mind a little, or a lot, that was damn good soup too, but I don't have that recipe I have this one:

1 tblsp each of butter and oil

2 large chicken breasts diced with salt and pepper to taste

Half a head of Green cabbage chopped

1 cup of chopped green beans

1 can of diced tomatoes

2 cans of tomato soup

3 cups of chicken broth

1 1/2 cups cooked rice ( remember the stoup, you may want less if you can't handle the STOUP)

1 tblsp of dried dill

Sprinkle chicken with salt and pepper, brown in butter and oil, add cabbage and saute until slightly translucent, add beans and tomatoes, soups, broth, rice and dill. Bring to boil and simmer for half and hour or so until the stoup has thickened and you are clamouring for food.

It is seriously good folks!

The best kind ever

2011-03-06T19:22:00.000-08:00

This is Real Love

The best kind ever

Just being, and doing, together

The Snowy Day

2011-03-05T19:17:00.000-08:00

Ah Spokane, what a fickle winter you weave. Sometimes it snows and then it rains and then it's cold, no warm, and then cold, and then spring-like... the only place more indecisive in winter is Calgary. BUT I do really love living here, and the variety has made it more fun. I grew up in Edmonton where the winters were polar, bitter, freezing and ridiculous. At least one week of minus 30-40 celsius and on top of that freezing winds, lots of snow.... you get the drift. ha ha get it? snow.. drift.. okay lame, but the point is that I am really enjoying winter here! On our last snow day I was out with the girls trampling that newly fallen blanket of pristine white flakes into a strange highway of boot tracks criss-crossing our huge yard.

There was much excitement about shadows for some reason and Norah spent a lot of time exclaiming about the location of her shadow and it's neat trick of following her around

Abby and Nemo were digging for ... well.... something

And now for this dog, I have to tell you, this dog is so damn cute. And especially when he is all covered in snow and NOT banging on the back door to be let in, then he is extra cute.

Our loyal doggies, featuring Snow dog and Old dog who is far too dignified to actually prance in the snow, I mean really!

Lastly.. our tracks, Norah was most impressed that people make tracks just like animals do, thank you Diego.

Dollhouse interior

2011-02-08T11:25:00.000-08:00

So about three years ago my Mother in Law bought a dollhouse kit for Seth to work on for Abby, at the time it seemed like a really great constructive project for him. It soon becaem apparant that there were way too many instructions that were vague with unlabeled pieces for his brain injury to handle.... Cue Mommy to the rescue. We have been working on this crazy dollhouse for the past year together, it started with wanting to get it done for Abby's Fourth birthday over the summer but that didn't quite happen. And then wanting to get it done for Christmas, but still.. not enough time. So after stalling out on cutting all the little bitty pieces of trim (that really my kids couldn't care less about) an executive decision was made in January that the inside should be finished first. This was based partly on the fact that the kids were loving playing with it and starting to colour the walls with crayons to help mommy finish, and also partly because I am quite worried about the little delicate wooden deck railing spindles surviving the next few years.. so inside won over outside. Above is a shot of the inside all primed with papers laid out for each room.

Here is the upper floor of the dollhouse, the two girl's rooms. Not surprisingly the older girl gets the biggest room and when ABby is playing she also gets all the blankets, food, pets and toys... :)

Baby's room, the wallpaper is also sparkly in a lot of these rooms which really put Abby over the top

The Bathroom which I am thinking that i am totally in love with and I wonder if they could make scrapbooking paper 10 feet tall for my bathroom :) lol

Mom and Dad's room, yes we did use vinyl flooring in the whole dollhouse, yes I did cut it out to fit each room from large tiles, no I am not crazy. My thinking was this: it is super durable and meant for real people to walk in so therefore it should survive the doll family and the two little girls manipulating them.... right?

Two angles of the living/dining room

And two angles of the kitchen

It may have been the most fun I have ever had making something for the kids, and I thought seriously about starting a dollhouse renovation company.. but you know.. time :)

Lastly we have a few shots of Baby Raccoon and Baby Kitty who came to play a few days ago. They were masks cut out from a cutting crafts book ABby got for Xmas, and they provided hours of playtime. :)

Finally... keeping up with the Jones's

2011-01-15T19:54:00.000-08:00

Finally! Finally I have my brand new shiny red camera, and I finally got some time to work with it and take a few new pictures of the girls that aren't all grayed out. Finally I can select shots that are really the ones that I want and not just have to settle for the half decent ones. So I celebrated by trying to take a few shots of what we did today.

It was such a lovely warm day above freezing, mostly all the snow has melted and so the kids were itching to get the bikes out for the first time in months. Norah is still too short for the real bikes, or even the tricycles, but she can scoot. And she's pretty darn fast at it too!

Not as fast as Abby though, so she settled with yelling "Abby!" over and over while her big sister lapped her around the driveway.

Abby was delighted she still knew how to ride her bike and spent at least a half an hour riding in circles and giving me a play by play whenever she got close to the flower bed.

Abby and I made homemade turkey soup and homemade buns for supper. Whenever I make homemade bread or buns I always ponder why I don't make them all the time. Unfortunately with Seth on a low-carb diet buns aren't really a staple food but once in a while they really hit the spot. And my kids love homemade soup so much! More than pizza, more than chicken nuggests, and only slightly less then french fries. (seriously, french fries are the most sought after food for my kids, but not the crappy ones, they have to be big nicely seasoned Steak fries.) Abby is really good at eating the soup broth and the bits, but really Norah is a broth girl through and through. So tonight HandDog came to visit and help Norah eat her bits so she wouldn't be all full of liquid and hungry in two hours.

At first HandDog was such an anomaly that she wasn't too sure, that silly handdog masquerading as Daddy's hand this whole time had her stumped for only a few seconds.

Then they were best of friends and HandDog quickly helped Norah eat some bits from the soup bowl by trying them first and proving without a doubt that the bits were indeed edible. She was very upset when Hand Dog had to say goodbye and help Daddy do the dishes and walk the dogs. Ultimately HandCat that tried to help Mommy do the bath was not nearly as popular and very nearly drowned via angry toddler.

Sometimes when we're tired or just plain wanting the kids to "do what we say when we say it," it's easy to forget that a lot of parenting has to be creative. A situation where we struggle to get the obstinent child to comply can be easily diffused with something as simple as HandDog. Even though today ended well I am still struggling with trying to balance time between the kids and things that I want/need to do. But when all else fails looking at the world through the imagination of a little girl can really change your perspective.

Time Well Spent

2011-01-06T20:20:00.000-08:00

So here's the thing, because I spend all this time at home, and work from home and my husband is at home too and the kids are at home most of the time... well... sometimes I don't actually appreciate the time that I have with the kids. It's not like I am at work all day thinking about how much I miss their little faces, I am upstairs at home trying to work with a million distractions namely two very smart, very verbal little girls. So what could actually be a whole day of us doing things together turns into a day of me trying to escape for a few minutes and being interrupted, so I feel like my escape was jilted and therefore I am sore about it.

I take this sore spot and I flaunt it by huffing about it and then planning a household chore that simply has to get done and 'might' include a child but really isn't their idea of fun at all. So since they really couldn't care less about participating in putting away the laundry, or tidying the shelves I do indeed get that much longed for escape, but by then it is soured and tainted by the fact that I won it underhandedly.

This year will be different, following up on my resolution to spend some individual time with each kid ( which is mostly working) I am trying to pay with cash instead of credit.

I plan an activity with the kids that we simply just do, a craft, or a game, something together... 30-45 mintues or so. I try to be wholly present in whatever we do, have a great time, and then after we are done I can ask for a few minutes to work on what I need to do. This way my kids already feel like they have cash in their pockets, I am not paying them with empty promises of some indistinct activity in the future I have already given them the gift of my time and am asking for a little back.

We started this off with shaving cream painting, you know the activity where you spray shaving foam all over the table and watch your horrified children as they tentativty poke at it while wondering transparently if their mother has really and truly gone mental? You know that one? well we did it.

After the initial spate of " Let's make as big a mess as possible before mom realizes just how big a hole she has dug here," we moved on to "hey this feels pretty great on the skin"

And finally the intended result, the paintings

A lovely flower above, and a rendition of Toothless the Dragon from How to Train Your Dragon

And Norah informs me that a reliable source has told her this is a cow, definitely a cow.

It was great fun, and I did really enjoy it. Letting go of 'the plan' is really hard sometimes but soon enough these kids will be off at school and time will drag for hours.

And lastly I'll leave you with a shot of poor Nemo who was out in the snow in the perfect conditions for this crazy snowball effect. Poor dog was waddling all over the house until I took pity on him and gave him a warm bath to melt him down a bit :)

Another Year has sprung itself upon us eh?

2011-01-02T10:32:00.000-08:00

New Years always seems to be such a surprise for me, not that I don't know it's coming but more that the confirmation that all time is just slipping by faster and faster scares the pants off of me. And there is no better reminder than that crazy anti-climactic celebration with the odd pressure to drink copious amounts of alcohol and watch some crazy sparkly ball fall a continent away. And after you kiss your special someone ( and in my case marvel that there is this crazy forever marriage with this perfect person and how the hell did that happen?) and then it's all over. All the anticipation for all the holidays that are sandwiched into two months is suddenly let go and you feel.. well... tired.

We have been running at full tilt over here for the last few months, we had two birthdays within our little nuclear ( love the word and the completely volatile implications) family, one birthday in the extended family, 4 birthdays with friends, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and then New Years which brought a new baby to a very best friend. Add to that Seth deciding to go back to school, Abby starting Ballet, Norah stopping her napping and I had two publication deadlines for other people and self published one other pattern not to mention making Christmas presents and what you you end up with? Tired.

I am looking forward to January, sweet sweet January with it's endless possibilities and unmarked calender.

The best thing about the first few days of the New Year is that you can fool yourself into thinking that life really should be this unblemished list of hopes and dreams, ideas planned and yet not made real. That you will indeed have time to complete all things which you desire and still have time to relax in a pillow of lavender steam each night while your children magically put themselves to bed after pouring you a glass of Merlot. That somehow all the gritty parts will be brushed over and a perfect silver lining will always gleam with promise like a beacon in the night.

And then the best thing about the rest of January is that you realize nothing has really changed, that there are still kids pulling each others hair, dogs pooping in the living room, books being ripped, favorite coffee cups smashed, not enough time to do anything other than laundry and work and cooking for the starving hordes. But this is the very best part of life, the part where we have other people to mess it up and change it around, to demand our time away from the very best resolutions we have made. Life is lived inside the in between spaces, the moments before and after the climax where we just be with each other and do our daily things.

For that very reason I would like to share my resolutions with you all:

1. Make a point every day of spending half an hour with each child separately doing something of their choice, I will do this without thinking of knitting, and without trying to double task a household chore because when my children are grown they will remember the small moments not the big ones.

2. Taking another half an hour to exercise each day, this does mostly happen anyways but making it more formal will make it more appealing. I will feel like I am healing my body, and making it strong, I will not bend to the image that society makes for me but carve my own.

Just to point out that at this point I have lost 1.5 hours of knitting time

3. To work my ass off at my now chosen career, to be the very best dynamic incredible artistic person that I am, and to never apologize for it.

I wish everyone the very best of the New Year, make the small moments count, and live the life you really want !

The Magic of Santa: Guest Post

2010-12-29T15:41:00.001-08:00

I wanted to let you all know that I have a guest post up on a lovely friend's blog this week about the Christmas season and keeping the light and magic alive, you can check it out over here!

Happy Birthday Norah!

2010-12-15T10:30:00.000-08:00

Well little Norah had her second bitrthday this week, the actual day was on Wednesday and then we decided to have her friend party today (being Sunday) so she wouldn't find one day too tiring.

Here she is modeling her Diego Rescue pack that I whipped up on Tuesday night, actually dusting off the sewing machine and spending a marathon 4 hours not knitting in order to fulfill a dream. Norah loves Diego and it was well worth the time spent to see her light up over this gift, immediately shove her spotting scope and rescue rope into it and pelt off to save... something, anything, someone get this gal a critter to save!

We had a chocolate coconut sugar free cheesecake for dessert and I know you are thinking (sugar free? what the hell? must taste like regurgitatated light Philly Cream cheese when they pretend to flavour it but really it resembles gelatenous white goo) well not this cake. I found the most amazing recipe for Splenda cheesecake and it is our standby, as then we can all partake since Seth is unable to have real sugar or cake. When we had cake for Seth's birthday we had a chocolate almond crust with cherry topping, it was great.

Norah was so pleased with herself for blowing out the candles, she blew them out halfway through Happy Birthday and I relit them three times to even get a picture with flame in it. As you can see I resorted to my hand in front of Hurricane Norah to prevent the snuffing before a last desperate photo.

And she did actually get a nice sugary buttercream cake this weekend at her Party with her friends. And yes indeed that is baby Jaguar peeking at you from the top of a mountain of butter, sugar and whipping cream, I think he turned out pretty great.

This afternoon was so very tiring and Norah was done before the party even started so by the time we mistakenly left her and ABby to watch a movie at 3:30 it was far too much for the little rescuer. We came down to find her like this, curled around rescue pack, wearing her new Animal rescuer hoodie, fast sleep lying in a puddle of her own pee.

She had such a great day, used her new Diego plate set at supper, wore her hoodie until bathtime, read and reread her Diego book and took Mommy and Baby Bengal tiger for nursie time and bedtime. All in all her friends really know what it takes to make a happy little No

On Turkey and Cultural Amalgamation

2010-11-25T20:29:00.000-08:00

I'll admit it right now, Thanksgiving in November usually feels like a bit of an anticlimax.

Having been raised in Canada Thanksgiving is part of October, the beginning of the month of excess. A 31 day stretch with a tryptophan stupor in the middle and finale of diabetic coma. Then you ususally have Novermber to recuperate before revving up again for Christmas and all that beer that just won't drink itself.

Now that we live in the States we usually celebrate both thanksgivings because really, there is no better excuse for two turkey dinners in as many months. My mom and dad come for Canadian Thanksgiving in October and my mom spends the entire weekend educating any sales clerk willing to listen about that fact that " yes Canadian's do have Thanksgiving", and " did you know we are celebrating Canadian Thanksgiving", "this bag of potatos is for Canadian Thanksgiving."

And then when we celebrate again during November Seth's mom joins us, having grown up in the States herself she really feels more at home having turkey this month. And usually this second dinner feels like the great anticlimax, like a belated birthday card, or Christmas presents lost in the mail and delivered in July.

But not this year.

This year we had a great time, all crowded into the front room to watch the snow fall, and fall and fall..... we actually watched the Macy's parade on T.V. which believeyoume was the most surreal experience of my life. I felt like a kid on a tv sitcom; who was having a thanksgiving that someone had scripted to follow the classic idealistic American lifestyle as brought to you by Home and Garden magazine. We had dinner at the dining room table with a tablecloth and nice plates and a gravy boat and everything, The kids ate themselves sick and then had pie and whipped cream and ran around like crazy people. It was the idyllic American Thanksgiving... although admittedly we skipped the football.

I suppose the interesting thing about this year was that I feel like my kids are really going to have a very different cultural upbringing than I did. And I am not talking about saying zeeee and zed, or punctuating sentences with eh, or the differences between tourists and taurists (oh yes washingtonians I am onto you; as far as I can figure a taurist is someone who travels that has been born in May?)

But there really are cultural traditions that Seth and I grew up with that my kids will only learn about through collective memory, not firsthand. In Canada you are never fed that bull*%$@ story about the Indians ahem First Nations, and the Pilgrims ahem Pioneers and the great feast. Simply put Thanksgiving is exactly what it says it is; giving thanks for the bounty of food put before you and hoping like hell you aren't starving and freezing by January. Well I am thankful, and I hope I am not freezing in January.

I guess the best part is that we can do both, we can have two days for giving thanks and be extra thankful and extra full at the same time. I am thankful for my girls who make me wonder everyday if I can be big enough, strong enough, smart enough, gentle enough and humble enough to raise them. For Hubs the Great who really is the other part of me, and for realizing that even though I might be really far from where I came from I am exactly where I need to be.

Tis' the Season to go Shopping

2010-11-17T12:35:00.000-08:00

Ohhh Christmas is coming, fast and furious. The bix box stores haven't even waited this year for Thanksgiving to pass before hauling out all the bell chiming, glittery, snowy marvelous Christmas crap that accompanies the season of purchasing. And I love it.

Most of my friends will have a lot to say about buying less, giving less, that children need less toys, there is no need to go wild and get them zillions and zillions of toys, and I agree... mostly. Because when it really comes down to it, I LOVE BUYING TOYS, LOTS AND LOTS OF TOYS FOR MY KIDS. This does not mean that I will dwindle my bank account to nothing this Christmas, it means that I will find the sales and indeed already have most of my Christmas shopping done. It does not mean that I will buy any toy I come across that is a low price. I will line up my children's interest with toys I think are worthwhile and at a great price. It does not mean that I will neglect making them something by hand. I have a handmade gift planned for everyone on my list and have most of them finished.

But I will refuse to feel guilty that I love to buy them things, that even though the money could be spent on a myriad of other things I will enjoy buying them something to fuel their imagination and play. I will teach them that they are lucky to own such lovely things and when the time comes when it is no longer played with we will donate it, or send it to a second hand store. This year will be the year we start buying a toy for charity, Abby can pick out a toy to donate and when Norah is old enough she can too.We are blessed enough to be able to afford new toys and I know that, I teach my kids that, we talk about how amazing our situation is all the time.

And quite frankly I love how many options for play we have in this house. Lately we have been keeping all the toys packed away in coloured bins. Everyday we pick a new bin and the kids get to play with whatever is in that bin. This means that each day there is something new and exciting, something that has not been seen before, and it fuels imagination like never before. Kids need things to play with, they need variety and they need to have the experience of deciding that they like one thing more than the other. That one item is more precious and their reasons why that item is more precious. They also need the ability to decide when to get rid of something, and how can you ask a child to get rid of a toy when they only own five or six. Preciousness increases when quantity decreases, and should we be teaching children that there are only small quantities that should be held onto forever? or that the world has bounty but we can share it, keep it for a while, covet our favorites and let the rest move on.

I read this on a friend's blog today and it really rang true, I actually wrote it down and put it on the fridge because this year I will revel in my generosity REVEL DAMNIT!

Gift-giving teaches generosity, after all. It teaches thankfulness. It gives a sense of blessedness.

This is not advocating that the only way to do Christmas is to buy buy buy, or that the only gift is a storebought toy. And there are of course families that cannot afford to have piles of toys for their children this Christmas, but I plan to buy my kids some, and then buy some for your kids too.

NaBloPoWha?

2010-11-14T09:31:00.000-08:00

It is so awesome that all my friends are on this crazy post everyday thing. Awesome that each morning I get to stall even longer upstairs and look into this house, or that house, and sometimes that house, and not often enough that house. Lately I have been struggling with the concept of this blog, how much is too much and how little is not enough. I am an intrinsically honest person... to a fault, if you've had a conversation with me you'll know that I am generally well meaning but blatantly honest. ( For future reference this is not always the easiest and most tactful way to be.. just sayin'). And it does provide a slight problem with this space as I am never sure how much information is okay and how much is too much insight into our lives, where we live, what we do, how to find us... But it is fun reading blogs of other people,. specifically people that I know in real life, then there is this teeny tiny glimpse into the background. The set as they say, the part in the dress rehearsal when they just leave the curtain up for the stage change and you can see the blank concrete back wall, the hanging wires, the old unused sets in the wings, new props waiting to be brought out. The way it really works, I like seeing that, a "How it's Made" of a family I know.

And it is even better that some of these great gals are doing it everyday, I mean when else can you work into conversation "Soooo what was a completely banal thing that happened today that spurred a memory that made you rethink your entire parenting style," yeah I know that's not really an icebreaker is it? So then really why the heck did competitive overacheiver me not jump on this NaBloPo thing? WEll for one, I didn't know what the hell it was until Ivory explained it to me. I don't feel like I have time..... but that's a lie, because I do have time. If I have time for daily puzzle, then I have time for this.

Who knows, I do know for sure that we have to go out soon, stop and pick up the pottery that Abby and I painted last week for Xmas gifts, get a new coffeemaker ( life giver) and then buy a snowblower, or shall I say budget blower for all the snow from the *&(^%& global warming trend. It is ironic that to combat the effects of global warming I need to buy something that uses non renewable resources and makes noxious exhaust.... but I'm sure I could write a college course on the amount of irony in life.

I also know that Norah is incredibly adorable in her 6-12 month sweater that fits great, and her 18 months pants that fall down because she no longer wears diapers and she is super dinky skinny. lol, and I also know that Abby is sick as a dog and has a terrible croup thing but insists complete with tears and hystrionics that she will go pick up the pottery. So off we go! maybe you'll hear from me tomorrow, but probably not, the pathological need to forge my own path and disregard all other rules is pretty strong.

Hallowe'en

2010-11-04T09:54:00.000-07:00

I think that this Hallowe'en was my most favorite to date. Abby was amped up for a good two weeks beforehand, literally vibrating with excitement. And Norah was finally old enough to really appreciate the fact that simply walking up to someone's door and being her unbearable cute self saying "twitck o weeet" was enough for scads of candy. :) She spend the evening hefting her pumpkin bucket around all by herself smiling a cat-that-got-the-cream grin and saying "I got wots o candy!" It was marvelous. I ended up vetoing the Ponyo cotsumes that were originally requested mostly because Ponyo didn't really dress for October this far north, (a Miyazaki film about the far arctic would really help me out next year). And so the girls went as princesses, which was a sure bet with Abby as long as the costume has lots of sparkly Diva going on.

We followed up Hallowe'en with Abby starting Ballet lessons, she is completely delighted as a couple of the girls in her class take ballet and now she is just like them. She had a marvelous time at her first class despite the fact that her mom ahem.. missed the right time and she was in with the 5 year olds being slightly bamboozled by instructions she did not understand. But I have to admit that Abby is so good at being easy

going she did great and followed the best she could. So next week we'll be there at the right time and she'll do even better. The best news is that she asked to go to ballet again the very next day so I guess she really likes it.

The Calm Before

2010-10-08T16:41:00.000-07:00

Did anyone notice that September was a blazingly fast month? That it was over nearly before it began, and the onset of school was this amazing re-entry into a decently structured shedule that has my children acting more normal than the carefree days of summer ever allowed? We've been so busy and yet had nowhere to go and nothing to do other than the sweet nothings of everyday. Fabulous mornings filled with oatmeal, cool rainy weather, fading leaves and school afternoons. I had a number of projects due last month as well as a few deadlines for submissions and looming Christmas gift knitting so my hands have been occupied which is always a good thing to do. We started September with our annual trip to the State Fair. I always feel like this is my Americanization ritual that I must pass to remain in the country. We had a great time as always, and this year Norah got to have a Llama ride which was not only the highlight of her day but possibly the highlight of her life. :) She ended up having two rides that day both of which were punctuated by her delighted cries of "Llama ride! I'm having a Llama ride! Yay!, Yehaw Llama ride!." It was enough to make me regard my 4 city lots as Llama worthy pasture for the time it took her to ride around the llama circle a few times.

And of course there were the giant carrots from our garden. Funny thing about carrots, if you leave them in the groud with a water supply they keep growing. Felt a bit like the scene from Lord of the Rings with Farmer Maggots crop being stolen, but my little hobbits are cuter than those ones, albeit still with curly hair.

Then we had a nice trip to our favorite Fruit Ranch with Abby's school, Norah wasn't too sure why she could eat an apple right off the tree but not a pumpkin. I wasn't reallt able to explain it to her satisfaction either so she knawed on the skin for a while :)

And we cam home the other day to find this little guy on the porch. Apparantly an Orb Weaver spider it is quite frankly the coolest spider I've ever seen and I kind of hope he sticks around simply for interest factor :)

Now we have busy busy October with lots of visiting and trips for weddings and getting ready for Halloween and at least one birthday to celebrate.

Harvest update

2010-09-09T15:15:00.000-07:00

I feel a bit guilty for neglecting this space so badly, I'm pretty sure that it has something to do with being fairly busy, and deciding to give the kids the attention they deserve. However I have a few garden updates: Above you see my 2.5 gallons of green beans that I picked from the garden the other day. These little guys found their way into the freezer. Please ignore the dirty dishes and vitamins and if you are saying "wha? dirty dishes and vitamins.. where?" then don't look for them, your house must be well loved and seasoned with clutter as is mine.

And at the risk of making someone too hungry I will only post one picture of one of our many fabulous stir-fry's that we've had in the past while. All veggies that have come from my garden, I think the only thing I bought was the garlic, but that will change next year.

And we finally bought some lumber to put together our yard bin that Seth received from his mom ... maybe two years ago... :) I guess the blog isn't the only neglected thing going on here :) lol

And finally Abby did turn four last month. I decided that I wasn't going to do a blog post about it as it makes me cry to think of her getting older and being away from me at some point. And she has been having a great deal of anxiety about getting big enough to move out and be away from us lately and so since she is such a perceptive little thing I decided not to dwell on the emotion. Here was her totally fabulous Cheesecake a La Splenda so her dad could eat it too :) It turned out super delicious :)

Lunch with Ponyo

2010-08-30T21:37:00.000-07:00

We rented Ponyo from the Library this week; hardcore Miyazaki fans we have most all of his other movies but had been putting off purchasing this one mostly because of poor reviews. However, what a surprising delight this movie turned out to be! Abigail was completely in love with it and we have watched it everyday, sometimes twice a day for the entire week. Long story short it is a retelling of The Little Mermaid, but way more adorable and with typical Miyazaki charm and strange Japanese references that still elude understanding but remain quirky and enjoyable.

As in all Miyazaki movies he never forgets to include the food ( and I have a theory about his love of cold fried eggs because he uses them a lot) but in this movie Ponyo and Soske have a bowl of Noodle soup with Eggs, Ham, and Green Onion. So imagine Abby's squeal of delight when she managed to locate the last two packages of Ichiban ( that's Ramen for the American readers) that were lurking in the cuboard. "just like Ponyo!!!!!" So off we went to recreate the noodle soup that Ponyo and Soske eat after the big storm in the movie.

Eggs, Ham and Green Onion were easy to recreate and I was delighted that Ponyo had enough good sense to mix some hefty protein in with her carbs. Also the fact that before Ponyo Abby would never ever ever have even entertained the idea of eating Ham, Green Onions or Eggs in soup, these are all things that she east separately and does enjoy but in a soup? really? well Ponyo does!

And this really took me back to being a kid, those crunchy noodles just waiting for the hot water, and the salty salty broth..mmm....

Then there was the moment I had to pretend to be the mom from Ponyo and cover the soup telling Abby to close her eyes while slipping in the eggs, ham and onion. then SURPRISE!

I guess there is such a thing as universal soup surprise look , lol.

I never got to eat my soup as Norah woke up just in time to partake in the meal. Which she also immediately knew was from Ponyo, I guess I know what Santa is bringing for Christmas:) And I hope we can last Ponyo-less until then. And one thing for sure : there were definite threats hurled against those dang Librarians who wanted their movie back today.

Good Gravy, where has it all gone?

2010-08-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

who knows, I remember when summer was this long drawn out ridiculous affair that was so devastatingly awesome at the beginning of July when there was no school, and then by the end of August we were bored out of our skulls and begging to go back to school. ANd really at the moment it is only the beginning of August with a good solid three weeks left until September creeps up and cooler winds crisp the air. We have birthday's coming up, successive planting to accomplish, more weeding to do, patterns to write, and we did have fun in July having a holiday with family and splashing in the pool. But I can't help but have no clue as to where the time in July actually went as it went so fast I didn't take stock.

We started the month out with some exchange students from CHina who visited with us and stayed in the house for ten days or so. Talk about culture shock, I think we had a tremendous amount of fun and it was seriously thrilling to convey the word 'cholesterol' to Meng Jiang after trying to discuss it for 38 minutes including drawings, miming and a Chinese/English dictionary. But there were a few things that definitely made me realize we live in very different places from one another, for one the utter terror that my dogs instilled in our guests. Of course I know that the Chinese do not keep dogs, for pets anyway and that they are not used to them but really who couldn't love a cute bundle of fuzzy cuddly fur that wants to lick you up one side and down the other, well the CHINESE that's who. So we started the trip with our poor young gal Tian Yu crying her eyes out in giant wracking sobs and refusing to allow the dogs into the house for the entire trip. After explaining that our dogs were part of our family we headed down the arduous road of trying to keep them contained in their own house so as not to completely terrify Tian Yu with a glance of fur. It did all come out in the wash as by the end of the visit she was petting and feeding them treats.

In the middle of July we went up to Scotch Creek with mom and dad which was a total riot of course, had lots of fun in the sun on the beach and watched Abby swim it up hardcore. That girl is going into swim lessons at the end of August because truly she can jump off a diving board into the deep water of the pool surface and swim to the edge by herself. She's not yet four and she may be part fish.

Other than that I've been gardening up a storm, lots of zuchinni, swiss chard, lettuce, peas, carrots, and beets have been eaten in the past few weeks and there are beans, tomatos, calabaza squash, buttercup squash, cucumbers, cabbage and kale to come... yummmm.....

Rain Rain here to stay

2010-06-09T20:12:00.000-07:00

Boy oh boy has it been wet! like really really wet, almost like we live in the pacific northwest wet. Hmmm....but it is good for the * drumroll please..*** GARDEN :) yes we do finally have a garden, pretty big and filled with nice dirt, it looks small here only because our yard is so darn big.

And we also have an herb garden, which needs some more bricks but really they can wait as I am more interested in buying plants than rocks :)

And more squash plants! I hope my friends like squash as much as I do because unless the bugs get them there should be plenty to go around.

Other than the rain and desperately trying to mow the half acre of lawn I own in-between rain storms without completely clogging the mower we haven't been up to much. A short trip to Canmore in May to meet up with family was great fun;

Tromping around Canmore with two children who have been promised Candy Apples can be fun too, sort of :) but really the mountains make it sooo nice, and the river flowing into my dad's head? hmmm

And let's not forget sleeping angels on big fluffy hotel beds that look all white and fancy and are hard hard hard with big fluffy pillows that are so very supportive you'll never lie flat again :) lol

And I include this photo of actual happy children in the car because it never ever happens until mom whips out a camera to document the gravity of the screaming and crying. So these little stinkers grin from ear to ear for the lens, well poop on them and their 9 hours of screaming minus one minute for the shot.

And then my favorite photos ever, Norah calls them Bogles :) lol

And we will end with Sluggy our friendly yard slug who is now the favorite friend of her " whole life" and 'lives in her world" , that's my girl ; pink sparkly rings and brown slimy slugs :) The high heeled entomologist, glamourous snake wrangling dress model, oh Abby I love you!

Pretzels and Komodo Dragons

2010-05-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

I have declared today a Mother's Day, no particular reason, we are mostly healed up from our past few weeks and despite being rather tired from all the gardening around here ( another post I promise) we are doing fine. Abby has had a few exceptional moments this week where i am really appreciating this little person that grew inside me. We will start with "Mom, what's it like being an adult?", asked on the way to the swimming pool on Sunday morning it sort of took me off guard. A pretty advanced question I think , I tried ot give it an advanced answer:

Being an adult involves being tired a lot because there is a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it in, like chasing little girls and making supper and laundry and mowing the lawn. It is fun but not as fun as being a kid because there is more responsibility and you can't really do whatever you want, in some ways you are more restricted than when you were little. But being an adult is great because you can have a loving husband and family and terrific little girls who make you smile and fall in love all over again.

But I still think about my response to this question and wonder if I would answer the same thing if asked again this sunday, or next week or next year. I guess technically I don't feel that much different than I did ~~10 years ago~~ before I turned 18. Which where I grew up means : Yay! you are an adult and somewhat responsible and we'll give you keys to a car, and you can buy a house and get your own food and drink up a storm if you choose. Many things have changed since that time, I am comfortable with who I am, as a matter of fact I LOVE who I am which I don't think I ever would have said back then. I have these great girls that are amazing every single day even when I want to pull my hair our and hide on my own island . ANd a great husband who not only is my Hubs he is my friend, he is my perfect fit , the other side of the equation, really M=S in this house.

But being responsible sucks a lot of the time in other ways, no you can't play video games all day and order pizza and let the kids run wild and never wash or clean up anything. Well..... okay technically you could and I think I've seen a few "Supernanny" shows where a few if not all of those things are going on at the same time in a home. But we don't do it here. We have agonizing decisions over how to parent, what rashes to pay attention to, which are just from grass, thinking that bump in the night is a child falling from bed, a window being opened by a stranger. Wondering about nutrition, sleepcycles, weaning, nursing, weaning, nursing, about the right school for an obviously sharp little mind asking questions that should be beyond her years. So what is it like being an adult?

Abby: Mom I want to see a real live chameleon right now
Me: Well honey, I'm not in the habit of keeping real live chameleons in the car
Abby: why not?
Me: well I don't think they would like it in here
Abby: Oh, well if there was a chameleon in here it could eat some of my pretzels
Me: well I think they eat bugs Abby, but he might try a pretzel
Abby: do lizards have teeth?
Me: some do, I think Komodo Dragons have teeth
Abby: They are bad lizards
Me: No they aren't bad, they are just aggressive because they eat meat and they have to hunt it to eat it, that's all
Abby: Well do you think a Komodo Dragon would eat a pretzel?
Me: No Abby they like meat
Abby: well what if I threw it at him?
Me: well no probably not because they like meat
Abby: Well what if I threw this whole cup at him? and all the pretzels were in it?
Me: I think he might say , no thankyou I like meat
Abby: Well then I would give him chicken.

Mother's Day

2010-05-11T00:18:00.000-07:00

Well I've been avoiding posting about Mother's Day as it wasn't really all that great over here, actually it was downright dismal. Seth has had a headache for the better part of the last week complete with dizziness and nausea and.. well yes vomiting too. All those quirky side effects of a brain injury that no one know how, or why, or when they happen but they do. SO Sunday morning was filled with leftover coffe, make your own breakfast and get the kids out of the house so that Seth could rest. We went swimming which was pretty fun, the kids are great at the pool and we have a good time. Then back to the house, scrounge up some lunch, put Norah down for a nap.. oh wait she isn't napping this week. Anotehr fun side effect of feeling discombobulated because her dad now lives in the bedroom with the blinds closed. So get Norah up after an hour of singing the alphabet, head out to Lowes to buy myself some flowers. Okay just so everyone knows, Lowes, on Mother's Day, which was warm here in Spokane, in the Garden department with two kids both tired from swimming, freaked out from no daddy time and both napless...... bad. bad bad bad. I got tired of Abby continually running away bu hersell so I let Norah get out of the cart too so they could run away together. I figure if anyone tried to nab them they would have their hands so full by the exit they would ditch the kids and run for their lives. So we got some nice plants, and some cow crap, and the oh so nice lady at the checkout asked very sweetly how my Mother's Day was going and she got an honest answer. She may think twice about asking again, or at least check for the level of harried involved before opening her goddamn mouth.

Then we trouped home, and then voila, Norah fell asleep.. great right? Well at 3:30pm .. not so much. SO she napped for a whole 40 minutes which was just enough time for me to get elbow deep in making dinner on the barbeque because my *&%(*& oven STILL isn't working. Well that's another post entirely. And when she woke up she was oh so friendly and smiley, I mean she might have been underneath all the whining and the crying and the moaning and the cranking. I hel dher on my hip while I chopped vegtables and barbecued meat and then we all sat down to eat dinner, with the blinds closed. Not sure if the blinds were closed to keep the sun out for Seth or so I could pretend to be on an island, in the dark, by myself. BUT managed to wrangle the kids into bed so they could scream and whine for an hour before finally falling alseep. And the best part? well falling asleep at 9pm of course.

These photos are not from Mother's Day, I decided not to take any photos because something about documenting such a disaster seemed morbid. But these are some great dress up shots from earlier this week and sometimes we all need a Giraffe costume.

That New Baby Sweetness

2010-04-03T11:22:00.000-07:00

Ooooohhhh goodness, and there is a new little one among us: welcoming Rebecca Coghlan, the newest cutest sweetest loveliest baby girl you ever did see! She finally made her appearance late on April first after much anticipation, girl three for Tom and Ivory! Yay!

Such a new and exciting experience to have a dear friend have a baby, I mean most of my friends already have their children, and those that don't.. well I haven't been informed of plans :) lol There is a strange vicaryous excitement involved, you can't wait to meet the new little fusion of some of your favorite people, you know that it is going to hurt and by proxy you get some cramps ( seriously). Then there was that strange moment when touching the belly in the food court at Costco you , know, just know that today is the day, but there is nothing to be done, just waiting... I'm not so great at waiting. The actual onset of the event is overwhelmingly exciting, labour has started! alright ! all systems go! DO SOMETHING.... but really... you're not supposed to be there...The only other labour you've ever been a part of was, well, your own! you were definitely there and fairly important. But this is different, not yours, not your fight, not your pain, not your experience, you are the periphery, a bystander, a superfluous watcher.

You can wait and hope and pray for safety of your first friend you ever made in this city, you can worry when after checking your email 8, 20, 50 times that night you have nothing before going to bed at midnight. And you can rejoice! when you wake up to find a welcoming email.... relief....

You can have the older kids to play in the afternoon, feed them, cuddle them, give them ,loads of high fives and recognition that this, this huge event is theirs too! That it is so special to be a big sister twice , and even more to be a big sister and a little sister at the same time :) You can watch them swirling in their newfound sense of... different, and feed them and bathe them and give them loads of pie, them pack them up and send them off. Not yours, but so worth the time and energy it takes to have four kids running around like banshees for a few hours. :)

You can make a huge pot of soup and pack every vegetable cut with caring and concern, loads of vitamins and love, sustenance to help heal after the fight.

It is different , it's not your time but it is still so special and exciting and makes you want to grab the whole family and hug em tight! but instead I give Abby and Norah extra special love and hugs and wonder. ... the last time Ivory had a baby, someone else got pregnant :) lol

I can't keep it all together, so I've given up the power to the little people

2010-03-19T21:32:00.000-07:00

Blahhh.... definitely coming down off a creative high, I've been working my butt of these past two months at 4 designs for Knitpicks amid three contest entries and don't forget some baby gifts. Now I still have to finish two of said contest entries and hopefully not die of stiff neck disease. All I really want to do is curl up with my new book, Knitting Workshop by Elizabeth Zimmermann who is perhaps the goddess of knitting. There are so many lovely patterns in it, so much to aspire to :)

Since I've been so busy and tired the girls have been taking over some of the household chores for me..

Someone has to mow the lawn with bubbles

And slide excessively

Not to mention modeling new haricuts, these are things I'm just not good at so the girls have been helping me out

Another great example is sneaking pasta from the strainer when mom is busy stirring the sauce, I knew it was toooooo quiet in there.

And since all my creativity is used up the Daddy had to find new ways of playing Nemo, we call this the lazy-man tug-o-war

Don't forget vacuuming, at this I am hopeless, good thing Norah helps out

Other things I am not so hot at: maintaining a rollicking living room ocean boat with fish crackers and a broom mast, nope I'll leave that to the experts.

How about Giant Water Bottles?

Also I've been far too busy to be as cool as this

And let's not forget the necessary brick standing (?) Apparantly it is an important part of our lives :)

This however, this relaxing in a hammock thing I would love to do, if there was only room :)

Dancing in the Street

2010-03-06T20:37:00.000-08:00

Alright so this may come a little late, like perhaps a week, but remember that my T.V. was broken and I was enjoying all the quality time with my children... yadda yadda yadda.... SO very proud to be a Canadian this week after winning so many Gold(s) in the Olympics and really why not an impromptu street dance??

Broken Brain

2010-03-03T22:43:00.000-08:00

Well our tv has been broken this week, which has been a very interesting process for all involved. Sort of a new and terrifying experiment that I never really had the guts to try out on my own but once forced to attempt to live without the brain sucking robot things have been a little different. Abby and Norah have been playing more and more, no more mid-morning meltdowns about getting to watch a movie, or seeing one more episode of Diego. This amazing product placement advertisement took place in my very own living room the night before the T.V. stopped working and considering how effective television advertising is on young children I'm glad mine had to go without for a week.

february2010

Now there are barbies and G-I Joes in the Jeep racing around the house at top speed with baby tigers and the odd lizard giving chase. A play tent has appeared in the bedroom which is the subject of a botched game of house where Abby is the mommy Norah is the Abby and Dotty ( her dolly) is the baby. Much cutting of paper into teeny tiny little itty bitty pieces just to practice scissor skills and to have the sheer pleasure of sanctioned destruction. Not that these things never happened before but now they happen without T.V. drama first, which is a much nicer way to start the day.

And then of course there was the 10 dollar slide totally scored from Cragslist thanks to our bestest slide hunter friend Ivory. Norah has been playing on the slide at Abby's playschool when she goes for family day on Friday and she's gotten so good at it she can go up and slide down all by herself. She is so much more of a climber than Abby ever was, I frequently walk into a room to find her standing on a chair, or halfway up the couch, which is scary. And not to mention that Seth and I are home a lot and we barely ever don't have eyes on the kids so for her to be up the chair it means she is scary fast.

The only thing that has suffered from the lack of T.V. time is my knitting, I not longer have hours of brain numbing time to knit knit knit away while we watch some ridiculous Monsterquest, or equally brain numbing episode. Oh well, tomorrow is a new day more specifically the new day that the T.V. gets fixed and I have a lot of catching up to do on a few projects. :) lol but I think we might just tell the kids it is still broken.. ahem until we get busted... because we will at some point or another. :)

Keeeaaaiiiii

2010-02-27T22:22:00.000-08:00

So despite the cuteness factor being over a million

And having a great time on the first day while being attentive and well behaved

She decided that perhaps the discipline required in Karate was not her cup of tea, conmsidering her mother's issues with restriction and authority.. well .. all I can say is Atta Girl! But really, she wants to do some more swim classes and we are very happy with her for trying something new.

Other than trying Karate (very expensive at full price karate) this week we've been doing a lot of reading, Norah is a book maniac and will actually go to sleep cuddling a book! I have to supply her with at least two if not more books when she being tucked in at night, preferably books that are new or haven't been seen recently. SHe likes to have her legs tucked in with her arms out to look at the books before she falls asleep. All I can think is that I read consistently while nursing her for the first year ( until she got too squirmy to keep the pages level) and so perhaps her obsession started there? [My other theory is that I had a lot more piercings when Abby was younger and now she has this love of shiny, small things... ] So, we have been reading a lot of books, especially the ones that make oodles and oodles of annoying music and noise. All curiously supplied by grandparents, or surrogate grandparents ( yes, you know who you are) and have great buttons that even 14 month olds can figure out! At least this one plays classical music, albeit tinny.

ANd let's not miss the late night firegirl emergency we had after bathtime, it was great! not sure what it was exactly except a lot of running around and yelling 'EMERGENCY!" taught to us by a friend :) Ohhhh yess, and you know who YOU are lol :) But it was great fun and super cute.

Wow am I ever a whiner!

2010-02-20T20:31:00.000-08:00

You know I just read over a few blog posts from the past year, really trying to find the post called The Bean of All, which is worth a reread and chuckle, and I've decided I only ever crank it out on this here blog, and complain about everyintg.... Well here are some great thing happening this month:

My Jellyfish bag made it into the Spring issue of Interweave knits,

I've finally joined a few groups on Ravelry and am having my patterns test knit for free and getting really great feedback. I have two patterns on Knitpicks and hopefully will have two more later on this month.

The kids are enjoying each other more and more, they spent the better part of the afternoon having Abby push Norah in the itty bitty doll stroller ( yes rather unsafe) but when the 14 month old actually fits in the itty bitty doll stroller there is a novelty factor that a three year old cannot ignore. And then there have been the glowstick illuminated baths in a dark bathroom.. tommyknockers anyone?

We also get two weeks of free Karate lessons from a local place thanks to a Valentine's day card that Abby brought home from school. We also get a free uniform and I am hoping that Abby really likes Karate because I think she is an incredibly powerful little being and if she could learn to centre that energy and really focus herself she could be even more of a dynamo.

We've really been focusing being really calm and respectful to Abby lately, not giving into the raging crazies every time she does something.. well ....raging and crazy. She has been helping me cook dinner every evening, or at least most evenings and she often says that it is her favorite part of the day. :) Norah has been falling prey to the separation anxiety tantrums.. which are.... great...... oh sorry *happy post* they are GGRRREREEAAAATTT! SO we have been speaking a great deal of Toddlerese. For any of you unfamiliar with toddlerese it is basically the most fulfilling form of dealing with a tantrum ever invented and it works! You basically deal with the tantrum by repeating the request that your toddler is making with the same force and body language she is using. Check out Dr. Harvey Karp over here and see what I mean! I would recommend his Happiest Baby on the Block and Happiest Toddler on the Block to anyone with small children. :) Sometimes it works on husbands too but they can't have read the book and if you let on that you are using a 2 year old method on him.. well.. better just keep it between us eh?

And we got lovely outfits from Papa and Grandma from their trip to the Dominican Republic, and of course we had a modeling session, this is abby's Mod look :) ANd NOrah's tired look:)

And that's about all, pretty random really

Again with the sicky sicky sicky

2010-02-10T19:46:00.000-08:00

So, this month has been interesting, last month even more so. I think I can sum it up in one photo really:

Yup, we've been feeling this good :) lol And today after an emergency doctor visit I have a roll call, a double ear infection for Abigail, a lung infection for Norah and for your's truly, a developing lung infection. Anti-biotics all around please doc! I mean the saving grace is that the prescription plan saved us 150 dollarrs, so you know that is nice.

But the student pharmacist wasn't betting on the cranky level as he doled out four medications taking fifteen times as long as usual and then said

"huh? only $11.28, well that's good right?"

so of course he got a snarky "Well that's the great thing about Military medical insurance, they may take your husband away from you for years at a time and try to kill him but they give you cheap pills."

Not one of my finer "nice" moments. Mostly I am cheezed off that after two afternoons of concentrated valentine making poor Abby never even got to exchange them at school, she mostly lay on the couch moaning all morning, and then really worried me when she stopped moaning and just lay there. However hopefully she can give out Valentine's next week. And then maybe, maybe we can see our friends sometime soon.

The good news is that Nemo is doing well, perky as ever even though his status has changed forever. But don't tell him as he continues to romance Buster his dog toy night after night. That is, when Norah isn't stealing his bed amidst his utter confusion

And thankfully his cone of shame is gone too

Alright I am going to take my cranky self to bed.

Just a little nostalgia

2010-01-28T13:12:00.000-08:00

Ahh makes you want to crak open a cold one, seriously, at noon

Cyber Trash

2010-01-20T20:17:00.000-08:00

So recently my computer has been mindnumbingly slow, really not all that slow compared to well let's say a river of molasses, or perhaps a no legged dog walking, but compared to the Hubs shiney new HP fancy pants 'puter right across the room this old Betsy is a hunker clunker. She's really only a year old, hand built by Hubs the Great for yours truly with a decent smattering of help from a computer whiz we know. But my poor ol' gal is losing steam these days and I suspect it is the overwhelming accumulation of photos on it. SO, I am 'culling' to borrow one of Ivory's favorite phrases, in a totally meek and un-space-creating type of way, perhaps the laziest cleaning method you've ever seen but join me for a journey through all my image junk. As a matter of fact if you see something you like feel free to take it home to your computer and let it scoop some ram out of your Pictures folder for a while. Maybe we should have a contest: whomever has the best comment about one of the cyber junk photos will get a prize *wink wink* a really good one. Okay here we go.....

Not to say that any of these images are necessarily bad, at the time they were used for one purpose or another but now, now they are space sucking speeding impedeing ghouls, clearly for the delete pile.

Mostly here

2010-01-16T11:03:00.001-08:00

WHere to start, I've started a blog post so many times over the last few weeks and ultimately something comes up to distract me, the kids being either unbearably cute or terribly frustrating, a new knitting project, playing games with Seth, trying new recipes... so many things in my real life that seem to interfere with this cyber chronicle... hmm.... somehow this doesn't bother me . lol

We had a great Christmas albeit a little too exciting what with driving off the road into a snowbank on the side of Highway2 in Alberta, almost hitting a big horn sheep in B.C. and 'bumping a deer' in Idaho. The upshot of the whole deal was thet the kids were terrific, I mean really really good, not many 3 and 1 year olds can handle a 12 hour drive/ 13.5 hour drive after said snow bank, with any kind of panache. But my kids did great. Christmas was really great, being with family and watching the magic of the season take hold of the kids. Abby was so excited, ridiculously excited, over amped and practically salivating all day of Christmas Eve. She did resist ripping all the presents open the second she woke up and for this above all I am grateful, for a little self-restraint goes a long way in life.

We obviously made it back okay from Edmonton and are not really missing the bitter cold and snow, although I think it has been far more mild there since we left. Here in Spokane it's been positively dreamy, just balmy with rain, a little snow that never stays unlike the 72 inches of last year. Glad we didn't put the money into a snowblower this year although if you hear some knocking it happens to be me banging a hole in this wooden desk nad praying for a clear February.

In other news Seth was diagnosed Diabetic in the middle of December, thankfully he does not need insulin and we are managing quite nicely with his diet. Was a bit of a revelation into the manner of our eating habits and we've all benefitted from the dietary changes. Not to mention the increased exercise around here, the dogs are really enjoying all the mandatory walking and the mommy has learned to .. ahem... knit and ride the exercise bike at the same time, while watching sensationalistic National Geographic documentaries on the computer.

And knitting knitting knitting I am, have finished four projects since the beginning of January, am entering two contests and have three patterns out for initial review from companies while five other submissions await review from two different magazines.

And now I am needed again, time to nurse, or soothe or cuddle, or craft with or something, it's a dirty job this mommy thing but I'm loving every minute.

And a big LOVING WELCOME to our newest addition to the brood little Quinn, we've waited for you with bated breath my dear and we're so glad you've come!

Norah Norah Norah we Adore Ya

2009-12-09T20:36:00.000-08:00

Albeit a bit belated here is a birthday post for my baby no longer, my big girl soon to be very big girl, little Norah Pearl. What I love about you Norah:

You always have a smile and are such an incredibly happy baby
how much you love to cuddle
that you love to growl along with your sister
watching you toddle around after Abigail, trying to be just like her and keep up with her antics
your favorite food is pepperoni pizza and you can inhale at least one whole piece
you always know if someone has food that you haven't been served and you know just how to scream for it
that you love love love baby dolls, love to cuddle and feed them
that you still love to nurse with mommy
how you would rather sit in bed and read books than anything else most days
that you pick up a baby sign after two or three shows
That really if you could you would live in warm water and be a fishy
you are always kind to others and love to play other kids
your impish sense of humour, that twinkle when you grab ears and scream into a face
that you love to be tickled when we are shopping
you can pretend to see a duck anywhere, and usually make the sign until you find one to sign about
that you'll hit Nemo on the nose and take his own toys away from him
that you will always wear a hat and never take it off just to be a pest
the intensity of your babbling, you have something to say dangit!
that you can play for hours by yourself with minimal supervision, totally content to just play
that you are discenring about what you put in your mouth
your perfect perfect head, so beautiful, and those chocolate brown eyes
that you have your daddy's chin, that handsome guy
that you are so different, totally you in every way, completely unique, completely Norah

Thank you for choosing us

Love Mommy

Puppy for Sale!!

2009-11-26T18:33:00.000-08:00

Puppy for sale! Puppy for sale!
One cute tail waggely puppy for sale!

He loves to give kisses and smiles when he **sses
He runs like a gerbil on speed
His black fuzzy hair makes him look like a bear
but he's really to small to be mean

Puppy for sale! Puppy for sale!

One cute tail waggely puppy for sale!

He eats lots of good things and and then a few bad
he chews on the sofa and darn!
when no one was looking he snuck up behind
and grabbed up some needles and yarn!

Puppy for sale! Puppy for sale!

One cute tail waggely puppy for sale!

That stinking cute pup, well I'll tell you what's up
he looked like a walrus agorge
with needles all sticking from out of his mouth
and a swatch in his throat not too large

Puppy for sale! Puppy for sale!

One cute tail waggely puppy for sale!

The cable was strewn all over the floor
in small pieces, purple and forlorn
And boy that cute puppy, that waggely puppy,
well he wished he had never been born

Puppy for sale! Puppy for sale!

One cute tail waggely puppy for sale!

The only small thing that I give thanks for this day
is that while choking and gagging he whined
so the daddy arrived and saved my swatch from inside
that cute waggely puppy's behind!

Puppy for sale! Puppy for sale!
As a matter of fact he's quite cheap
tell you what if you take him I'm sure that I can
pay you with kisses on cheeks!

What the Hell were they thinking?

2009-11-03T10:31:00.000-08:00

Okay, so, whoever thought that it would be a good idea to have Hallowe'en, a full moon and a time change in the same weekend was NUTS. Granted having them all at the same time probably saves us all weeks of lunacy, children and animals only need to have four days of insanity instead of four weeks.

However the compounded effects of all three within four days is INSANITY, not only are the kids ( and I mean all five of them) hyper and wild but they aren't sleeping either. Hallowe'en was the beginning with lack of sleep due to excitement and afterwards lack of sleep due to sugar crazies, then add a full moon with that incalculable effect on the human body , I mean where do you think the word Lunatic comes from anyway? And then throw in a time change for good measure, not to mention that we had family visiting which just adds to the excitement for the kids and Norah has been sick and teething. OMG, I don't think I've slept in four days.

We had a midnight bed party last night when Abby had a bladder accident in bed and then a bath and then reading books with both kids while we waited for Bert her toy snake to dry in the dryer. All I could do was laugh as I had a hard time concentrating on the kids with my eyelids closing, something about waking up at 5:30 am with a preschooler demanding food ( which by the way is probably the only way to get me out of bed that early, I wake up for base functions only: food and pee emergencies. Poo emergencies are strictly for the daddy, bless his poo cleaning abilities.)

So we are over the hump, thanks to Mum who bought us loads of pizza last night so I didn't have to cook and thanks to the DVR who let us zone out with hours and hours of taped episodes of Ultimate CakeOff. Pretty well I think that the news shoudl cover this kind of thing previous to it happening:

" And in other news we have Hallowe'en, a full moon and a time change all in one weekend folks, make sure to stock up on tranquilizers, duct tape, and old episodes of Dora. Call our 24 hour 'I want to strangle my kids and animals hotline- IWTSMKAAH' and don't forget that it is recommended to surreptitously book a babysitter or three to help with the entire weekend. Good luck folks, and remember the national guard will be making residential rounds; giving away free cages and sedatives and the drunk tank at your local PD will be open and accepting the worst of the little buggers. Good luck to you all, and Goodnight"

Just so glad it's over :)

The Lulling tonic of Bob

2009-10-26T13:28:00.000-07:00

Act 1; circa January 2007

The Daddy wears an ever widening track in the hallway floor as he rocks the baby up and down the hallway, back and forth, back and forth. Abigail Mae is the first child for the mommy and daddy and getting her to sleep without hours and hours of walking back and forth back and forth has been an ever increasing challenge. Pretty soon the daddy is getting frustrated and resigns himself to a long hard night of rocking and lulling. He reaches over and clicks on the television convinced that he may as well watch something other than the tops of his feet avoiding toys. Suddenly the vocal deluge ceases, quiet snoring envelopes the now practically silent house accompanied by the calming rhythm of 'One Love', and the Daddy thinks that perhaps they should all go to Jamaica.

The mythic power of the Bob has begun.

Act 2: circa April 2007

The car jostles gently as the family rumbles down the 1-95 heading from Harker heights to Killeen, all would be peaceful except for the bloodcurdling screaming from the backseat. Abigail hates to be facing backwards in the car and feels alone and trapped where she cannot see her mommy and daddy. And then, suddenly, a percussive beat a chord of guitar and cue the drums soon it is Bob to the rescue as Marley and the Wailers put our little wailer into a catatonic trance. The mommy smiles as she settles into her seat knowing that her quick punch of the stereo button is all that is required of her for the rest of the carride. Ahhh Bob, wish you were still here to thank.

Act 3: circa March 2009

The little family has now grown and added another member a new baby girl named Norah who is just becoming aware of herself and that she really doesn't care for riding in that ridiculously uncomfortable carseat facing away from her big sister. Once again tragic crys interrupt the daily carrides, the daddy has trouble concentrating on the road, the mommy can't twist around far enough to comfort Norah and the big sister Abby just wants that new baby-thing to stop. Then a sudden idea, the mommy digs deep into the center console and pulls out a battered cd case, pops it in and... voila! Once again the Bob conquers all, silence and instant napping, nothing quite like it... but does it work on all babies?

Act 4: circa October 2009

The mommy and the daddy in a moment of insanity have added yet another baby into the fray, but this one is four legged and furry and somehow much more work. The mommy and Abby with doggy in tow are headed back from a playdate at a friends house, the new doggy is in his travel taxi for the first time in the car. Much howling crying and yipping is making driving rather hard to concentrate on for the mommy, she would really rather have that darn pup shut up but how can you reason with a furbaby? Well.... one quick jab to the stereo button with Bob cocked and loaded for when Norah is riding along and there is.. you guessed it.. instantaneous silence. The Bob is omnipotent.

Oh Bob, did you ever know that your music was such a snooze? lol

( I know Nemo isn't sleeping here but when he does sleep I never chance taking a photo because then he wakes up again)

Sigh

2009-10-20T12:59:00.000-07:00

Well... in addition to suddenly and surprisingly experiencing my cycle again ( which is very interesting post baby #2) , the kids ( all five of them, including the furbabies) are being extra special crazy. Abby is not only suffering from sibling rivalry with the new puppy Nemo but now has a bladder infection of some sort. Poor kid, I mean we only just started sleeping without a pullup last week, and now she can't even hold her pee and is back in diapers. I think ultimately the bladder infection is directly related to the sleeping without a pull-up, she was really concerned about drinking too much water and peeing in her bed. Directly taken from mommy saying " now you can't have a full glass of water before bed or you might have and accident," which translated into " drink less water all the time" because a preschooler thinks in black and white. Kind of like a PTSD soldier.. sigh... I do love the grey area. :)

Norah is teething again and has a top tooth poking through, is working on another one and is walking up a storm. She is saying Momma, Dadda, AbAb and Hi, she wants to eat everything and anything that we are eating and will forgo cheerios for meatballs. That's my girl!

Asia is so unbelieveably jealous and mean to Nemo it is ridiculous, she won't let him anywhere near her even when he just wants to cuddle, makes him wait for the water dish, steals all his toys, and pointedly ignores even his most adorable advances. Geez! and the cat isn't much better,although she is finally coming downstairs, cuddling during t.v. time on the couch and sleeping on ourbed. But yesterday she attacked Abby and swiped her EYE, two claw marks above and one below, missed the eye thankfully. Holy Geez Lousie, I mean WHAT DID WE DO BEFORE KIDS! I think I was really bored and never even knew it!

Oh and did I mention the new little story telling we've been up to?

"waaaaaa!!!!!"
Me: "Abby what happened to Norah?"
Abby: "She hit her head"
Me:"How?"
Abby:"?"
Me:" Did you hit her in the head"
Abby: nods
Me: "Why?"
Abby: "She just hit her head"

Hmmm.... repeat substituting any given name, body part and action for red text.

So, as the truth is a slippery thing to begin with and really depends on the eye of hte beholder ( which would make Seth cringe, and he is cringing as he reads this.. once again PTSD=B&W), I'm not sure what to make of the untruths. Still working on a game plan for that.

I guess the good thing is that I designed my first lace pattern the other day and it actually works, so more on that in the future. Now off to the doctors office to convince my three year old that she really does want to pee in a cup.. I'm voting 50% chance of finding it to be totally unbelieveably cool and 50% chance of complete mutiny... sigh.

Abbyism:
"well you see dad, it's not pee, a monster snuck into my room and spilled gravy on my bed"
"No! if I drink any more juice my volvo will leak"

*&%$ you Mayan Calender of Doom!

2009-10-07T11:34:00.000-07:00

We watched part of a movie last night that struck such a chord within me I couldn't watch past 10 minutes. The movie was Doomsday: big scary disease, lots of people die, walled off area, find out about what people really are like under pressure. I made it through the gory hospital shots of people contracting this hideous disease , coughing blood, all manner of revolting looking physical ailments and such. Then to the part where the people who are still healthy try to get out so they can get away from the pathogen, but they are stopped by riot police, who shoot blindly into the crowd and right into a little girl's eye.

SO, that's where I couldn't handle it any more. I know Seth has been to war and seen all kinds of terribleness and atrocities and that little fazes him especially hyped up movie violence that is ridiculously overacted and choreographed to be dramatic. However I cannot deal with it, I used to be able to, used to watch that kind of think and think "suckers! , too bad for you!" and now all I can think about is ; what about my kids. What would I do to protect them? how could I beat that terrible thing? could I smuggle them out somewhere? could we hide in the basement for weeks until it was all okay? How much food would I need to do said hiding? Should i get some more? I think there is a sale on at Rosauers this week.. canned goods... What about looters? maybe we should get a gun, because when the apocalypse happens everyone else will have a gun... WHat if there are zombies too....

And on and on it goes, the trailer for the movie 2012 makes my skin crawl and triggers 18 lists of things I am planning to purchase, including a motorhome, land in Nunavut, and a lifetime supply of Ichiban Ramen noodles. Life is scary enough without watching movies about cataclysmic disaster, I mean it just isn't my bag.

What about the little things we do everyday that might destroy us? just getting in a vehicle that might crash and kill , leaving disaster for your family. I know that on some level the larger hypothetical disasters are far less scary than the everyday ones. I mean it was only last year that my cousin got pneumonia and died, really, died from pneumonia; in 2008. That alone made me want to swear off bathing my kids in the winter, and put antibiotics in their cereal.

SO as mommies what do we do with the psychotic need to protect our children? do we become anxiety riddled and neurotic? Do we sit back patiently and get lulled into a false sense of security, thinking that nothing bad will ever happen? Or do we practice vigilance? and try our best to perceive the dangers? but where does that end?

All I know for sure is that when the continental shelf collapses and water is pouring East I will be driving, north, to my Mommy's house.

The Sicky Sicky Doldrums

2009-10-03T12:30:00.000-07:00

Riddle me this; what has 4 arms, 8 legs, three noses, boundless energy, and is a recipe for disaster? well how about a 3 year old, a 10 month old and a new puppy.

Now add to that everyone being sick.

HA!

So, it is pretty interesting around here. Let's start from the beginning shall we? So we all know about Mackie , and then Mackie Leaving, which was devastatingly sad and had us all pretty depressed for a week. Until crazy Meghan got on the web and emailed Auntie Ali and asks her where a good dog could be found. Auntie Ali who is a finder extraordinaire point us to Kijiji.com. WHere we find a posting about a little Pomeranian Cocker Spaniel puppy who was reasonably priced and so very very cute. Now I have a bit of an issue with paying for a dog when there are so many dogs out there who need a home. But this little guy was the perfect breed , and a puppy so we could train him any which way we wanted and he would start from scratch instead of some hopelessly cute and yet strangely trained shelter dog with hangups. I mean we already have a shelter dog with hangups and we love her but one is enough. SO long story short on Friday we picked up Nemo

WHo is really an Uber cutie. But talk about WORK, I mean between the two kids and then the new dog, and now we are all SICK! Snotty and coughy, and feverish and terrible. And we are missing a birthday party tomorrow complete with supposed surprise Pie, and I have to finish my bag pattern for Interweave Knits by Monday/Tuesday and the yarn was late so now I have a flexible deadline which I hate because I like to have a firm deadline and really this post has degraded into sniffly whining drivel because for the first time in a long time I went through box of kleenex in one day and I can't take any decongestant because Norah is still nursing and I want pizza.

Okay

Got that off my chest

But I wish it was outta my nose

Blah!

SO off to do some serious knitting and child ignoring, thank goodness for understanding husbands

So much for that

2009-09-20T18:04:00.000-07:00

Well sadly Mackie is no longer with our family. I got a call from Spokanimal on Saturday morning to say that one of his litter mates had shown signs of ringworm and did we have small children because it is very contagious. Well yes indeed we do have small children, so I was asking about treatment and such and then on a whim , just because this person on the phone actually seemed nice and knowledgeable unlike everyone I had talked to at the shelter the day before I asked about him being called a Dachshund.

"Well..." she says...

and I say " you know we were looking at photos and he really seems to look like a pitbull puppy

" Ahem.. " she says " well actually his mother is a pitbull."

" oh really?, well why did his papers say that he was a Dachshund?"

"well we think that his father might have been a Dachshund"

"Oh you think so, is that enough reason to put it on his papers as his only breed?"

"well..."

So long story short we took Mackie back in on Saturday and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. Listening to Abigail sobbing and watching her completely melt onto the floor was heartwrenching and I don't understand why it even had to happen. I asked three people at Spokanimal on Friday about the origins of that dog and they all said they only knew he was a Dachshund... have you seen the photos?

NOT a Dachshund. I mean really. So they did take him back and give us a full refund which was nice I suppose but not really a cure for the heartache of welcoming a new member and then losing him so quickly. Why could we not have a pitbull? well it would never sit easy with me or Seth, I know that many people have them as pets and they are perfectly great and wonderful. I know that if a child is raised with the dog the chances of them ever attacking are slim... but it can still happen. And what about our friend's children who come to play at our house frequently, what do you say to a longtime friend when their child is mauled at your house.. "oops, my bad."

Basically we were not prepared to deal with this breed of dog and we knew that when we went into the shelter, however we couldn't help being lied to. Are we that naive to believe a person who works with dogs everyday when they tell us the kind of breed? I am inclined to believe in the honesty and goodness in all people first and foremost and so this whole thing really chafes, I mean we were lied to. They knew that the breed was pitbull, the dogs had been brought into the shelter before they were weaned and had to be fostered with the mother until they were ready. Any person at any time during our visit could have looked at the computer and told us this information. But instead they all just pointed to the kennel sheet and said Dachshund, no other information known.

And why is this a policy at a city shelter? To dupe unsuspecting families into adopting potentially dangerous animals just to alleviate population issues at the society? When I asked why the papers said Dachshund and not Pitbull the lady told me that it wasn't her idea, and that's all she could say.

So buyer beware, go in with a dog breed diagram if you have to and if you really really don't want a certain breed of dog: look elsewhere.

I guess the good news is that there is a cute little pomeranian Cocker spaniel cross up on Colville we are looking at getting. So we'll see.

Cuteness factor one million

2009-09-18T20:32:00.001-07:00

Soo.... went to the Spokanimal shelter today .... licensed Asia and Siva..... decided that " yeah sure Abby we can go ahead and look in the kennels at the doggies .. but no touching"..... "oh sure Abby well it looks like we can take this little puppy for a walk".... " well no Abby this puppy doesn't have a name, no not a mommy or daddy either he lives here at the shelter"....

And so...

Meet Mackie Fluff, some manner of terrier mix more Jack russell and Rat I think than anything even though his papers say Dachshund ( HA!) not even like Dachshund is a generic term, you know like dog, or cat. So we are now the proud parents of one happy bouncy terrier puppy, one completely over the moon three year old, one slightly miffed older corgi X, a fairly neutral nine month old, and a very angry freaked out short hair domestic cat.

at least there wasn't any labour with this baby.

I would post but I'm too busy knitting

2009-09-15T10:43:00.000-07:00

Ever bite off more then you can chew? maybe once or twice in a lifetime? well this happens to be my MO, the way I function, the only way I can stay motivated and challenge myself. It needs to be complicated, like a lace pattern with increases and decreases, add some short rows just for spice, now mirror the whole pattern and learn to knit backward at the same time.

So now, 150 stockinettte rows into a 120st count project on 4.5mm needles I am ... well... challenged? Not to complain but I am the kind of gal who designs the whole thing in her head, minus a few details which need to be worked out as I knit but the actual knitting is a perfunctory part of the process. No, not (bored) but I can now knit english style and continental with even tension.... I'm just slogging through....the most incredible experience of my life :) lol and yet I can't keep my excitement from going haywire at the thought that in about 6 months this pattern will hit the shelves.

SO I shall carry on, but don't expect to hear from me anytime soon, I am far too busy knitting to post lol.

Yawn

2009-08-25T21:40:00.000-07:00

So life in the fast lane is for losers. lol I guess I just mean , boy am I tired! Norah got two teeth this past week, is working on more, learned to crawl and is trying to walk. So between excruciating mouth pain extending into her ears and crawling herself into waking every couple hours dear old mom has been losing sleep. Couple that with Abby having swim class at 9 am each morning and I am a goner. I just woke up from napping ( unintentionally) from 7pm to 9pm and I feel like... well not so great.

And waiting sucks... pretty much all waiting sucks, I mean except things like waiting for ... um... there has to be something... well back to my problem waiting for things in the mail. The mail is a much coveted happening in our daily life, we love it, can't wait for it, fight each other for the privilege of being able to walk down our oh so long drive and check the box. Even when we lived in Texas it was my favorite part of the day, I used to surreptitiously sit on the couch half turned toward the T.V. with lunch in my lap and the other eye turned on the road... waiting.

Yup that is the view, waiting for Old Sourpuss the mailman to come speeding down the road with cigarette in hand, sweatband on his arm, chain dangling from his wallet, with mail, FOR ME. Oh god help me I love the mail, and good mail days that contain an actual letter, maybe a magazine or really good store advertisement can just really make the day that much more exciting. The only thing better is getting a package; oh packages packages how I love thee, I compare thee to a summer's day but thou art more lovely and more temperate. That lovely brown corrugated cardboard usually scuffed a bit and covered with all that post office jargon is positively charming. And there is always ALWAYS way more tape involved than you can sufficiently rip off with your bare hands so inevitably after beginning with ineffective fingernails ( that you always cut the night before) you have to rummage in the kitchen for a pair of scissors. Which can never be found and so you settle for a steak knife and a prayer that your impromptu surgery will of course completely maim the vessel but hopefully leave the contents intact.

Now, add the purely intoxicating rush of purchasing items off the internet with or without an estimated delivery date and mail time is even more fun! who knows what goodies await within the morning post!

However if you are waiting, for something very important, like perhaps a big old box of yarn from Interweave knits so you can knit a pattern for their Spring 2010 issue then.... well... waiting sucks. And the mail is disappointing... so far anyways.... because I am too damn excited.

I'm here I'm here!

2009-08-20T21:40:00.000-07:00

Ha! bet you wondered where we had gotten to? well it has been a busy couple of weeks around here: first we horsed around on the couch

Then Papa and Grandma came to visit

And Grandma made Norah this cute cute sweater
Then we all drove to Scotch Creek B.C.

Some of us drew in the back seat

And of course there were potty breaks

Scenic potty breaks

And then the Beach, and eating sand, rocks, sticks, and leaves

Swimming with Papa

Cuddling with mom

Being scared of Dad's silly face

Horsing around with Papa

Bad 80's throwback headgear

And then back home to bake a very special birthday cake

check the deck for birthday cake eating monsters

Mmmmm cake... worms... dirt... rocks... cake

And of course all our friends for a very special party

And even a few new friends!

And after homeade macaroni and cheese, veggies and cake there were... presents!

All that fun tired us out some and so we had a cuddle in bed

And to cap off the weeks Granny came to visit too!

And so there you have it folks our life in a nutshell.. busy busy busy :)

Oh and I guess I'll end with this

Yes we really are in SO MUCH TROUBLE

And soon to be all grown up

2009-08-11T13:22:00.000-07:00

It is Abby's birthday this week, she is turning three and I can hardly believe it. It seems so cliche to say that it was only yesterday that I held her in my arms for the first time, but really it feels like it was. Ultimately Seth got to hold her first as I was being stitched up but after what seemed like 10 mintutes I was avidly saying over and over " can I hold my baby now?" and then there she was. All wrinkled and cone headed and angry, oh boy was she every angry, she cried for almost an hour.

Abby ; I had no idea what to do with you, it all seemed so surreal, one day I was alone, then you were here. I can still remember how hot it was that summer when you were born, we spent a lot of time out on the patio at mom and dad's house. And then after four months with mom and dad we were finally cleared to immigrate to the US and see dad again. Finally our family could begin again and mend itself after being separated for so long. You wore your blue sleepers with your pink sweater and pink shoes to see Daddy at the airport, and we cried and cried and cried.

I had no idea that one little munchkin could completely change my life so much, and that I was missing so much in my life before I had you! Everyday whe I look at your face I remember all the good things I've ever done in my life, all the joys and satisfaction of being your mom. Granted we've had our differences and even though it makes me mad I still laugh on the inside when you use mad mommy voice on me lol. And you are getting so big now, you can get your own water, 'read' your own books, use scissors and glue, use hte bathroom all by yourself. And now we have little Norah, and having her made me realize how big and grown up you are.

Watching you grow up has been the sinlge most amazing thing I've ever witnessed, and here are a few things that i absolutely totally adore about you:

your undying love of all bugs, snakes, sharks, reptiles, and amphibians
watching you treat your sister with love and respect
your love of doing makeup with mommy
your love of cooking and helping to cook and bake anything
watching you eat, and eat and eat, and that you are willing to try a bite of anything at least once
that you can constantly surprise me by making completely astounding connections between spiders and dogs, or water and bugs or anything really
your love of animals in general, that petting zoos put you into a spasmodic stupor and visiting a zoo will cause loss of sleep for weeks before hand
that you could eat an entire watermelon if allowed
you are independant and brave, oh so very brave and fearless my darling
you love swimming and baths and any kind of anything with water
you'll try more then once or twice or three times to get it the way you want it
your love of small and or shiny, beads, coins, bits of shiny paper, nut shells, rocks, leaves
the toy du jour, always small and most times shiny
That you can hold your own with boys and girls, that you love tanks and knitting, robots and makeup, dragons and dressup, star wars and shoes
That I can see myself and your father and then something even more special inside of you, you are yourself, confident and beautiful and amazing

Thank you for being my hunny bunny, my love, my darling, my baby pookie and most importantly my abby dabby, my baby forever.

I'll love you forever

I'll like you for always

As long as I'm living

my baby you'll be

-Robert Munsch

That little green eyed monster

2009-07-24T19:11:00.001-07:00

Well Abby has started with the sibling rivalry, I mean really begun to realize that mom and dad have two kids not just one. Her acting up this week has been grueling, frustrating me to the point of distraction. Especially since most of it revolves around how much attention over and above 100% I am able to give her. Funny thing is that she is really great in the morning for her dad, even when Norah is awake and playing with them. But as soon as I wake up and my priorities are in this order: bathroom, coffee, nursing, coffee, breakfast, something with Abby, and her priorities are: mommy craft time, mommy play time, mommy swim time, mommy shopping, oh sure have some coffee it's only 3pm. And she turns into a raving lunatic, whining and crying and lashing out, craving any attention at all, even the very worst kind. And as soon as Norah vacates the breakfast cuddle Abby is IN MY LAP like a dirty shirt, I mean this kid never even cuddled when she was nursing and now it is like Gaaaallllluuuuuueeeee. And the little beady jealousy eyes, I mean I guess I wasn't prepared for it, how anyone could shoot daggers at little Norah baby.. but she does. Yikes! and today when we were over at a friend's house dropping off a few helpout meals we were talking and watching the babies ( friend's have one 9 months and one on the way) Abby got a ball point pen and drew on a painting in the house. AARRGGGHHH!!! I have never been so mortified in my life!

And this too shall pass, and I am trying to rearrange morning priorities, I mean who really needs breakfast anyways? :) lol and having lots of Abby mommy time helps but .. geez .. I can't imagine three kids... or five... *sigh* and in ten years I'll be cranking that she doesn't want to be with me... well here is a shot when it was just Abby mommy time:

huh, the dog in the background is Max, mr. jump-the-fence-and-pee-in-the-yard-in-Texas dog

Five things I am grateful for

2009-07-23T09:55:00.000-07:00

Big shady maple trees that keep my yard cool, are older than my grandma and remind me of Canada

Waging war on the freakin earwigs that are eating my plants and winning! haha! beware of tuna cans filled with oil!

Big pools in my backyard that keep me cool and gave Abby a place to learn how to swim 15 ft underwater by herself

Wicked monkey lamps

The fact that we are well off enough that when I cracked these open we didn't have to eat them, unlike many other people we had other options.

The long sigh...

2009-07-18T11:30:00.001-07:00

Finally, after three years Seth was fully retired with permanent disability status.

Sigh..........

It is hard to explain the relaxed mood in the house this week, overwhelmingly lethargic, everyone is sleeping better, eating less, smiling more. I had no idea how wound up we all were, at each other over so many things, small thing, insignificant things. And now..... finally closure and recognition, finally a stamp of approval and a promise for the future. For those who are new to our story here is a quick summation:

Dec. 2005: shipped out to Iraq
April 2006: the first of 10 explosions rocks Seth , and he survives
July 2006: medically evacuated from Theatre
September 2006-July 2007: waiting, sometimes going into work, mostly being paranoid, anxious, and sore. I spend my time fighting with his superiors who keep calling him for duty that his official physical profile restricts.
July 2007: He makes the temporary retired list and no longer is on active duty
July 2007-August 2007: we wait with baited breath for rating and payment from the VA, very scary to have a one year old and no income for the family.
September 2007: 100% disability rating from the VA
September 2007-July 2009: waiting to see if they will take everything away from us and put him back on active duty. Waiting and reassuring, trying everyday to make it positive and not let the fear show.
Finally: July 2009 permanently retired.

It's done, we can relax and just live now, work on him getting better instead of being afraid of getting better. INstead of being worried that if he showed imporvement they would take it all way and push him into the workforce that he so blatantly can never enter again. We live with the paranoid fear of someone else mowing our lawn, being a failure because the recycle man didn't take all the recycle, being completely unable to enter a store like Costco or Walmart alone, forgetting where he parked the car ( every single time), any loud noise is a morter round/gunshot/IED, weekly and sometimes daily nightmares of scenes in theatre, an inability to interact with any stranger for any reason, and walking the dog down the dirt road triggers full body visceral flashbacks resulting in loss of cogniscence. Physical limitations of little to no lifting, walking with two crutches, a bulging disc in his back and neck, a raging ear infection that has presumably moved into his brain and is causing swelling and fluid to remain on his left lobe, as well as migraines that can last 2 hours or 5 days. Then there are the cognitive difficulties losing and forgetting words, missing meaning, stark inability to read and retain information, little to no short term memory, loss of logical sequencing and priority problems.

But I love this man,

we are doing fine

and we are a family.

We still go to Costco and Walmart, we go as a family, and stick together and keep him safe. We work through the loud noises and the flashbacks we talk about them constantly so they aren't scary or strange. We work on word loss, we play games like trivial pursuit for knowledge retention and we read to the girls all the time. Somethings will never get better like his back and his knees but we share the loads and move on, always moving on. And someday he is going to only have nightmares every month or two and flashbacks will recede into the background. It will still be there and it will still be hard sometimes but really what marriage isn't?

Don't ever let anyone tell you that something is impossible. call me a romantic idealist but really baby I've lived it, I'm 26 and I've been there and you can get through anything if you love someone.

And just for good measure

2009-07-13T09:43:00.000-07:00

There is something about Babies eating food that just tickles me :) lol here are some shots of Abby

What have I been eating this month?

2009-07-13T09:21:00.000-07:00

Hello! My name is Norah and I have a few thigns to say about my favorite things to eat! first of all I am glad that my momma is such a foodie and loves to make me new food ALL the time, and here are all the new foods I am eating this month and LOVING!

Ohhh CORN! Geez, whoever invented corn was the greatest ever! sweet, juicy! delicious corn and conveniently put on this oh so munchable cob thingy! CORN!

Abby is the greatest sister ever and especially when she feeds me Apples with Cereal! mmmm sweet sweet apples!

Could a girl want anything more? a big sis who feeds her, yummy food mommy made, a bib that says I heart bananas?

How about more food? where did everybody go?

And here is my bib from my Grandma, it says Norah on it, that's me!

If anyone tries to take this watermelon rind away from me I'll deck 'em!

Ahhhhh watermelon! another favorite!

And let's not forget Abby's undying love of Cherries!

There ya go folks! that's the food I've been into! not to mention these smashed peas on my tray!

Dog days of Summer

2009-07-11T19:47:00.000-07:00

OKay so not really the dog days but still hot hot hot enough that there has been plenty of swimming and goofing, popsicles and plant watering. Still hot enough that writing a blog post upstairs after a 90 degree day is not very fun and so I will settle for many pictures and few words.

In Hiding

2009-06-29T10:07:00.000-07:00

So I betcha thought I wasn't here huh? well I have been this past week. Busier than Critique week in fourth year but here. We had a brief stint at a family reunion last week, met lots of wonderful people we never knew existed and had a blast talking and playing in the lake. Managed to get both kids off theirt schedules within one day and still haven't found them again.

Then arriving home we tried to settle into our break of about a month or so until the next trip/visit. Doing fine until Seth walked up 7 flights of stairs at the VA hospital ostensibly to get some more 'exercise' and then came home jumped off a swing and put his back out. It took an hour and fifteen minutes for myself and our awesome bestest friend G to get him back into the house, and thus begun my four day whirlwind of chaos. Simultaneously to Seth screwing up his back the dishwasher decided to die die die.... and so.... four days of running between handwashing dishes ( which I just detest and think is the stupidest way to WASTE time because there is a machine to do it for me), doing laundry, and keeping kids ( who are still not sleeping) busy. NOrah is managing about 20 mintues at a time, mostly I think due to teething and Abby is a nonsensical mess by 4 pm after waking up at 5 am. Blahh.....

Anyhow, anyways, anywoooo... he is moving around more now which is nice, and we are going to take the lawnmower into the shop so it can be fixed and I can tame the Urban Jungle I live in.

Oh and just for the record, NEW RULE: no more 7 flights of stairs stints, and no more jumping off swings

Just in case we were bored...

2009-06-10T21:09:00.000-07:00

SO Abby and Norah switched sleeping routines this week, and i am sure that they planned it between the two of them just to throw us off. I am also sure it is a coverup for a much bigger project they are planning that I have yet to uncover , as well as a careful ploy to completely remove my need for any type of sleep. Norah used to hit the hay for bed right after bath at 7:00, nurse to sleep , wake up briefly for a snack at 12 then back to sleep till 4, then a snack till 6 then asleep till 9, not too bad. Abby used to nap during the day and then not get to sleep until 8 or 9, so now Abby is not napping and crashes hardcore at 5:30 till 6 am, and Norah is awake until 9 or 10. SO, what are they hatching? hmmm... a plot for global domination? let's just think of a world run completely by a 2 1/2 year old and a 6 month old... I'm willing to bet there will be lots of candy, juiceboxes, bugs, things that rattle great sounds, and bananas. Everyone would be able to watch a movie before bed, we could go swimming everyday, dinner is cancelled in favour of dessert, and nail polish on tiny toes would dry instantly instead of having to wait and hop up and down on one foot. Walmart would only be a toy/candy/banana store, there would be no pants, only pretty panties, and all daddy's would have fairy costumes that would fit for playtime. And lastly I'm sure that travel by car via carseat would be outlawed, those little chicklets would have time travel figured out lickety split. And somehow the tired out mommy's and daddy's of the world would just ... sigh.... and let them all take over in exchange for one decent nights sleep. So my little Pinky and the Brain hopefully will sync this whole sleep thing out at somepoint and then I can fight my way out of this stupor for good. :) IN the meantime here are my favorite shots of June so far:

Buggy Buggy Buggy Bumpers

2009-06-07T13:07:00.000-07:00

Okay so I've mentioned about how much Abby loves Bugs, well we had a bit of a bug fest this morning and spent the better part of an hour in front of the computer looking at the most incredible bug pictures I've ever seen. And for a child who routinely expresses an interest in being either a bug doctor, a bug farmer, or and emtoboloist ( entomologist, she has great speech but somethings are still slightly out of reach lol), our computer session was a dream come true. Here are a few of the 'cuter' guys that she was completely enamoured with
I am amazed at how much she loves these bugs, little guys who despite being very beautiful most would find somewhat creepy crawly if they were on an arm of leg. She constantly fascinates me , and makes me so proud that she is anabashedly herself; loving all manner of things unreservedly. I just hope that I can successfully encourage her to always follow her dream even if it is all the way to Thailand in search of a pile of milkweed beetles that are way too cockroahy for me thank you very much. :)
BTW credit goes to Richard Seaman for the amazing photography.

You must build a fire

2009-06-05T12:23:00.000-07:00

Okay so admittedly a poor video, but really one of my favorite songs and all you out there should check out Crooked Fingers as they are a great band!

Coral

2009-05-30T21:13:00.001-07:00

And like so many things doesn't it seem so obvious after it has been discovered?

Love, Mindblowing, Earthshattering, Breathcatching Love

2009-05-25T10:21:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it has been four years already. Four years, I mean when you are six that is a lifetime in itself, and now it seems like there never was anything different than this. My life, with my wonderful husband. And these two little girls we have skittering around us making everyday so much more meaningful than the one before, amplifying the love between Seth and I a million fold. I never knew that it could be so satisfying, to have one person, the right person with me all the time. All those boyfriends I cried so bitterly over at the time can't hold a candle to my Seth, my Pookie Bear, my Love.

What is it about marriage that brings out my conviction? I can feel it, the absolute immovable determination to make it work and work it out no matter what. I mean granted we have had our share of trauma, PTSD, Traumatic Brain injury, bulging discs, and at no point do I ever think " if it gets too much I'll just leave" , impossible, implausible, not me, not ever. He is mine and I am his and we work , who else can you sit up watching youtube videos of old cartoons until 4 am with your 5 month old asleep in your arms? Who else will let you sleep in, make you coffee, and breakfast, give you child free computer time while you eat said coffee and breakfast and then listen to you complain about being tired with sympathy? Who else will play any board game ever, anytime any place? or make meaningful observations about designs you are working on? or say you look good in anything ( and actually mean it!)?

Who else could fit so perfectly? no one. SO here's to marriage and four years of it and many more to come. Here's to making a statement in this fickle throw away culture that something will remain and outlast all others. Here's to being completely satisfied with an aspect of life, and to being in Love, mindblowing, earthshattering, breathcatching love. Here's to having a best friend who wants to be there forever, and make children and let the love compound over and over and over again.

Home again Home again jiggety jig

2009-05-21T15:42:00.000-07:00

SO much has been going on this week, we had a lovely trip to Canmore, an 8 hour drive during which Abby went on the little potty three times by the side of the road, one at a gas station and then arrived in Canmore totally dry. This kid I am telling you, once she makes up her mind about something lol, so we went to the zoo in Calgary to celebrate.

I think that the prehistoric park was a pretty big hit, she could barely keep still and just loved running along the paths beside the hoodoos and giant fake turribul leezards, lol.

And only my kid would be patting this super ugly creepy paper mache thing saying "hello friend! so nice to see you, aren't you just a cute little guy" lol

Did I mention it was barely above freezing and rain/snowed all day long? well there weren't many people there that was for sure, but I won't say no to a private zoo visit!

Thought these guys were so cute, they looked warm and definately smelled warm
So all in all it was a great weekend, Abby got her ultimate reward for potty training and hasn't looked back since, we had a great time swimming with the kids and taking it easy. And now I am off to start cooking the anniversary weekend extravaganza meal, mmmmm steak..... lol

I wanna be a superhero when I grow up

2009-05-09T19:35:00.000-07:00

Who knew, who had any idea that this thing called being a mom would be so amazing, and fun and silly, and teary and great.

Abby and I spent the afternoon out in the yard planting flowers and watering and pulling weeds and such. SO much fun to be had just being together and having a blast with dirt and water. This goofy toddler of mine who woke up yesterday potty trained, at least during the daylight hours she has been 100% in panties, no accidents. Ah ha! and I am knocking on wood as we speak. And my little Norah, who not only is cutting teeth but is sitting up by herself and is strong enough to stand with a little propping up.

And the way that they are simply enjoying one another these days is enough to break the heart with joy. Abby loves it when we make Norah 'talk' in a high squeaky voice to her, and seems to be loving her more and more. Norah thinks that Abby is the MOST Interesting thing ever in the entire universe and next to a snacking cuddle with mom there is no place she'd rather be than watching Abby get up to something. Norah has also developed this ridiculous sense of humour, smiling and laughing, smacking her hanging toys and then squealing in surprise, holding her hands out to my face while orating grand speeches in gibbery grunty, nonsense.

And Abby is getting so big, the change even since we moved here is amazing, things she asks about.. why are there bugs? how come things die? can I ride a giraffe when I grow up? why did we not have a baby before Norah? Why, how, what, where.... so many things. She is so grown up. It struck me yesterday when a friend was comforting her child that we are each uniquely paired to our children, that we need them as much as they need us, that they are mirrors of our strengths and foils to our weaknesses. That if we raise them with a pure heart and intention that they will grow and flourish in love and health. That we can't be perfect 100% of the time but if we are there when it counts, to answer the endless questions, to take the time for one last hug, to explain instead of override, to create and encourage, to eat icing on the floor and to simply be whole people, we can teach our children to recognize their weaknesses and make them strengths. To love and cherish all people and things, and most importantly just to love themselves.

To all of you out there Happy Mother's Day, you either are one or have one or both and aren't we all blessed any way you slice it?

These are the times to remember.

My Dad is an awesome Gardener

2009-05-02T13:48:00.001-07:00

So was my Grandpa, I remember seeing pictures of giant tomatos as large as Grapefruits that he grew while living at the coast. He always had an excellent array of plants and vegetables and knew how to grow them all well. The only two things I can actually remember about my grandparents during my younger years when they lived in Victoria and we lived in Edmonton was a visit to the duck pond outside their home and my grandpa's large garden. My dad also has a green thumb and spends endless hours of enjoyment just puttering around the yard in the spring and summer. We always had a veggie garden filled with carrots , lettuce, swiss chard, beets, onions, tomatoes and other yummy delights. And I can remember countless times when Allison and I would wander out behind the garage and spoil our supper by eating large quantities of snap peas and green beans. And now I am starting my own gardening career, I am not couting the pathetic attempts at keeping anything from drying up in the hot Texas sun, or the one oregano plant I managed to grow in Calgary. But now I'm really and truly checking labels for the right climate zones, buying only perennials, planning plants which nourish with food like strawberries and tomatos. And who knew that it would be so fun, and addictive, that crazy me who has a hard time turning off my brain and sitting still would love just hanging out with the dirt and relaxing. I mean we definately have the yard for it, and all the space I could ever need. I guess what amazes me is that I used to hate it, being corraled to help weed the garden when I was younger, told to water everyday after supper. I guess this is another post about growing up, moving on, discovering who I really am and what is important to me.

And speaking of: Norah is awake so off I go, putting someone else before myself? never would have happened five years ago :)

Broken Hands

2009-04-30T20:54:00.000-07:00

how to describe the feeling of not trusting my own hands. Lately I've been in a real creative phase, I cut out nine little girl outfits ( four are for a friend) and have been sewing up a storm. In addition to that trying to finish up multiple (and I don't use that word lightly ) knitting projects including a sweater I designed for the knitting blog. And add to that the slew of cooking I've been up to, this new obsession with using every last leftover inthe fridge in some new and glorious meal so as not to waste anything. Multiply those by the number of times I need to pick up a kid, write down something so as to not forget it, pick up an animal, fiddle with something small for Abigail braid hair etc. and my hands and arms are sore. So sore in fact that I am worried that I am getting some kind of arthritis, my hands feel heavy, and the joints feel full. I am hoping that this is just some sort of extra fluid from using them so much, and my arms are achey, all the way down to the elbows. I am to the point of dropping things at the moment. And then there is the permanent kink in my neck from nursing Norah all night and sleeping in the same position, and nursing on the couch and holding Norah, and sewing with my arms elevated and cutting out fabric while leaning over. It feels kind of like a spring needing release. Not to mention all the extra stress around here lately. ANd now I am typing on this blog, hurting my hands, not bending my thumb all the way instead of riding the exercise bike and having a shower while Norah sleeps. I love to procrastinate myself into pain.

Ahh oh well, there are at least four little outfits to show for my trouble and the pattern for the sweater is really cool. And I think the picture is quite telling of what i will do at any given moment... knit.. who needs cuddling? with soft soft kitties and cute toddlers... knit! Knit! Knit!

Distractions

2009-04-27T12:57:00.000-07:00

In an effort to distract myself from today; making phone calls that I don't want to make, missing walking group, Norah having her shots and being cranky, Abby pushing Seth in the shower and him falling on the spigot and breaking it off, much blood and bandages later ; an impending plumbing bill. Having to rent our other house because the darn thing just can't sell due to other really really nicely renovated houses in the same price range, having a million errands to run and staying home with sleeping kids. I will post a few of my favorite pictures from this month so far and put the word malingering far far farrrrr away from my thoughts and bury myself into the love of my two little girls!

And now I am off to do some sewing and await the phone call I will not receive before two so then I call a supervisor.. ahhh yes the supervisor call .

Keep Singing!

2009-04-25T20:54:00.000-07:00

So Abigail has started quoting movies , as well as music from cd's. She knows at least the first thirty lines of Vivaldi's Ring of Mystery ( and listens to it every single night before bed.) She has more that half of the songs on many of her cd's memorized and has now begun singing like Ariel the little mermaid. This all began a few mornings ago when she was in her room wailing , well it sounded like wailing and she was talking about bees in her tent. She had been sleeping in her tent for the past few nights and thought it was great fun, but hearing of bees Seth and I immediately thought of the wasps that sometimes make their way into her room in the spring. But when I sent Seth rushing in there ( as I was previously engaged with Norah.. ahem.) she informed him that she was just fine and the bees in her tent had been angry but she made them happy by singing like Ariel so they went away. lol super funny , and kind of strange, but mostly funny. SO tonight in the bath she was singing like Ariel again and making her mermaid hair swirl in the water when she asked me to sing like Ariel. So here goes... Ahh Ahhhh Ahhhhhh, and so she pipes up "KEEP SINGING" just like Ursula and then moves her hand to my mouth and tries to take my voice away. Soooo what does a mommy do? well I stopped singing , she had stolen my voice of course! This obviously led to a whole evening of repetition which was also super fun and of course just one more time before bed. But if you had told me 20 years ago when I was watching Ariel for the first time and totally deciding to marry an Eric and be red haired and gorgeous that I would be still enjoying it with my daughter this many years later I never would have believe you. Pretty amazing that we are a generation that can actually do that kind of thing.

It also reminds me of just how important this phase of her life is, and how blessed I am to be able to share it with her and really be a kid again. :) lol

Duck and Cover

2009-04-24T18:18:00.001-07:00

What to do when the sky is falling? hole up with movies and ice cream.

We got some surprising news today, incredibly the woman who booked Seth's re-evaluation on three days notice five hours away from home, and expected a vet with severe PTSD to travel all by himself on a plane to a new place without anything familiar , ALSO didn't get his medical records in time for the doctor's to evaulate them. AH ha you say? how bizarre? well there's more, then said doctor's made ridiculous uninformed decisions about material they have no concept of understanding in one hours time and now are trying to remove all benefits and imprision by husband. For pretending. Who could possibly pretend they have a TBI. You know , pretending that he mistakes words like mushroom and marshmallow EVERY TIME HE SAYS THEM, or losing words, stopping in the middle of a sentence to find them. How about losing all ability to complete simple projects? Hanging a picture? well you can look forward to two hours of banging, swearing, readjusting, six holes, two broken fingers and tears by the end. Ask me how he was at hanging pictures before his goddamn romp in the Iraqi sandbox? just fine thanks. Now let's see, what about something more difficult? how about making a pie and asking him to substitute apples for blueberries? "okay honey just put this can in instead of that can" blank look blank look blank look.... does.. not.. compute.... is that normal? no thought not. What about reading? you know taking words in by looking at them hopefully in some semblance of order to communicate ideas and stories? once an avid reader , at least a book a week he now can barely read a paragraph without a). forgetting the plot line b). having the words move on the page and getting a headache and c) just plain not understanding them. . How can I live with this every day and see all these things and this crazy doctor who has YEARS of teaching and experience thinks he is faking. TO THE POINT that he accuses Seth of faking to all the other doctors he has seen and also accuses those doctors of being wrong and not knowing what they are doing! Absolutely preposterous, and to add that Seth never came to them and said " hey I have a brain in jury" in the first place, THEY were the ones who noticed the problems, THEY were the ones who assigned catscans, and neurology appointments, Speech Therapists, and neuralphysicists.

THEY can kiss my ass because Mama Bear is angry and this is a fight I will win.

WHat to do when the sky is falling? Anti-Aircraft missile would do the job nicely.

Leaf in the Wind

2009-04-02T13:19:00.000-07:00

So, today at the mothers group there was a speaker from the local produce place called Fresh Abundance , which basically is a non profit group out to feed the world healthy veggies. Of course their project is bigger than that but really doesn't it all boil down to saving the world at some point? SO it has me thinking about my issues with food, the fact that I do 99.9% of the cooking for my household, that I love to try new things, new flavours; strong flavours, that I love to go grocery shopping and that in my little microcosm the cooking of supper is perhaps the only means of control I get to exercise.

Seth is alternately extremely scheduled and totally spontaneous, for example; outings, shopping trips, swimming, visiting etc needs to be PLANNED, there has to be a few days notice if not weeks. We usually map out most of a week at the beginning and then live from the Calender. I can ususally spring a trip somewhere tested and true, ( like Safeway, or out to Applebees) but anyplace new is out of the question on short notice. NOW the other part is the spontaneous, he is susceptible to anxiety attacks, flashbacks, migraines, and exreme physical pain which can basically, at a moments notice, kill all best laid plans.

And then there is Abby and Norah, they both need stability, naps, a basic schedule, so once again the most planned and anticipated outing in the world is at the mercy of a two and a half year old and her sidekick the 3 month old. Also let's not forget the need for a toddler to have all things the same all the time, same blankets, same sequences, same outings, same methods, etc, I live in the world of everything being dictated by someone else and really what mother doesn't but my point is that I want to decide something.

And so in other words deciding what to eat, when to eat, and what it will taste like is one of the few things that I can control. It makes me feel stable in my life, which can be so very very unstable. I enjoy it, I love grocery shopping, trying new foods, ethnic foods, (Vietnamese is my soul food,) and so the thought of having someone drop fresh unknown food completely out of my control on my doorstep once a weeks kind of scares me.

And yet... it is such a good idea, such delicious, tasty, fresh, organic, healthy veggies and I can always pick up something I really have to have. I guess it is really time to grow up, to think about what I am eating, to learn about growing it myself and give a little (more) control away, who needs it really,

Leaf in the wind....Leaf in the wind...Leaf in the wind...Leaf in the wind...Leaf in the wind...

Moving on...

2009-03-30T13:06:00.000-07:00

We had walking group this morning, and after waking up early to see company off I wasn't really in the mood. Beginning the day with refusing to change Abigail's diaper because really I've just had enough poopy diapers and she is two and a half and should go on the potty ( this was reason enough for my cranky brain). And then refusing to walk the dog because it was cold outside and then planning on two hours of sequestered studio time...and then the phone rang ....and I was talked into a walk in the frigid barely above freezing morning hours. And it was really good, that whole exercise = endorphions=happiness thing? well whoever thought that up was a total jerk and should have factored in Waaayyyy more chocolate in the equation but I guess it kind of works and you really do feel better after a nice long walk with good friends.

Speaking of good friends how exactly did this little cocoon of friendship get built in my life? all of a sudden I have at least two friends who are really good friends, that live close, that will listen to my crap, watch my kids, and let me watch their kids ( as if that isn't the most amazing thing ever) come over on a moment's notice, and were on full red alert standby the whole month we were expecting Norah. I'm telling you, my girlfriends ROCK.

And so I know they won't mind that I have picture of both of their bums at the same time. :) lol

Tired

2009-03-26T12:33:00.001-07:00

How is it possible to be so very tired and yet still continue on? I mean is it really healthy to only have 4 hours of sleep and then drive? I know there are other mamas out there whoa re feeling it too, two specifically I can think of and I am so sympathetic. I think I even get more then they do and I don't know how they move at all. I've always been someone who needed a lot of sleep, 8 to 10 hours, if not more. I love my bed, the warm coziness, nice fluffy feather pillows, pretty sheets, warm comforter. Ahhh... just thinking about it makes me want to cuddle up, right here on this hard hard chair.

Instead I will push through, because Abby and I bought lots of craft stuff to work on today and then there's that indomitable Lunch thing, have I mentioned how very much I hate lunch? Neither breakfast nor supper; lunch is a sticking point in my day, one can't eat fun things like bagels and peanut butter or pancakes for lunch. No really it is fairly well expected that lunch contain more that one food group, and can't contain too much sugar, so no dessert, or syrup. Lunch takes too much time, or else you are stuck opening a can of something that you will eat with relish because it is salty and pre-made and full of preservatives but it will make you GUILTY! ohhh so guilty, and then there are sandwiches, which I think should be called sandwishes, because I wish they would taste better than they do. And really I feel much better after taking out my frustrations of being tired on Lunch. And now I hear Abby wailing after walking with her dad and I wonder why Why WHY does every walk end in wailing?And why can't I break down into tears and whine and cry and thrash and wail when I'm tired? or maybe I am .. will you ever know? you can't see me can you? ;)

"The first guy in my world"

2009-03-18T13:47:00.000-07:00

So my daughter has an obsession with small. tiny, miniscule items, be they beads, plastic animals, chips of sparkly sequin, pebbles, and basically anything smaller then a dime. This magpie tendency wouldn't bother me in the least if her toy de jour wasn't so darn hard to keep track of. For example in a brief moment of Norah being asleep and Seth resting trying to rid himself of the cold we've all had Abby and I had an opportunity to take Asia for a nice walk. And it was a great long trek of a walk I let her choose the directions and pick the corners to turn and we circumnavigated our little corner of Spokane over a period of 45 minutes.

I'm thinking Great! 49 degress outside, sunny, no rain, fresh air excercise and she is still clutching her little metal toy froggy in her hand showing him all manner of trees and leaves and sticks and such. This particular froggy is an old necklace charm of mine that was given to me by a friend on my 13 ish birthday, I found him the other day while looking through old boxes and gave him sans necklace chain to Abby. ( mostly because she has a habit of trying to chokle herself with anything resembling a rope, string, chain etc.) . He is a well travelled little metal froggy, and made it around the block and most of the way home.... most.....

So I've finally convinced her to climb the porch steps and head toward the door when the inevitable question arises " but mommy, where's my froggy?".... crap.... seriously? I mean I warned her and told her and tried to put him in my pocket and her pocket and have him 'ride' in my mitten but no... she had to hold him and now I have 4 blocks worth of cement including leaf piles, moldy grass, drains, ditches, mud puddles, and cracks to search for a frog the size of a dime. Not to mention the fact that he is black and green mottled with just the right amount of orange thrown in to look exactly like a leaf on the ground.

Great, okay here I go, down the driveway.. no frog... around to where she picked up a stick.. no frog... mud puddles ( am I really going to put my hand in there? ) well she is following me crying her eyes out bawling " But he was the First guy in my world mommy! that little froggy guy" okay great hand in puddle... no frog.. not by the light pole... not by the mailbox... anywhere on the muddy driveway? fat chance of finding him on the gravel, as he blends right in even on the bright red couch .'okay Abby let's look up here, by the house' ( and not to be fooled, my daughter who is wise to my gently prodding her closer and closer to the house so I can smoothly usher her in the door before she realizes it walks the othe way entirely). SO as she pelts down the driveway calling for "froggy guy! where are you??" and I resign myself to another 20 minutes out here looking for the damn thing I glance at the porch ;

And there by the house, looking as smug as his little froggy face could possibly look is that damn frog on the FRONT PORCH no less, beside the door. Seriously. ANd you should have seen her face, the adoration , the content knowledge that "of course mommy found him ,that is what mommies do". SO am I super mom because I found this stupid frog overs acres of territory? or am I just plain dumb for not looking around my own feet before trekking all the way back to the dirty house around the block with all the toddler luring garbage and mud puddles for a front yard?

No more small shit. only big big big shit. Like maybe I'll buy her a pony.

And when I can pry the little thing out of her grasp I'll take a picture for you all.

Mommy, a blue duck!

2009-03-10T14:28:00.000-07:00

SO, I went into a bit of a frenzy on Sunday, and cleaned.. well everything, Norah was sleeping and Abby was supposed to be ( but usually growling in bed while thudding against the wall doesn't count as sleeping). SO got the tub scrubbed, toilet, sink , counter, threw out accumulating crap, and took the pail of old bath toys out of the cupboard. I can't remember why the pail got put up there in the first place, I think there was something about it being too big for hte floor, and we could bring it out every bath and then put it away, and she really only needed a few toys at a time anyways... well turns out Abby totally forgot about it. So last I hear is Mommy! I have to go pee..... thump thump thump thump thump ( toddler running, you'll know the sound if you have one) and then quiet, quiet, quiet.... so I come around the corner from cleaning in the bedroom and there is Abby:

I've decided that clean bathrooms are highly overrated, and besides the platoon of ducks won't move for anyone ( and they kind of scare me) lol

Norah ... sick

2009-03-06T19:36:00.000-08:00

My Poor little Googly Bear, she reminds me of her dad like this lol

The Bean of All

2009-03-06T19:31:00.000-08:00

A discussion took place at dinner tonight that was pretty interesting and I thought I would share the point of view of my two and a half year old:

A: the bean of all

M: what's that Abby?

A: makes everything talk

M: where?

A: Gone

M: really?

A: A new Bean of all!

A: This one makes the food hot

"I need to go back in my home"

I squirted him back out the little fairy

He's hiding from you

M: Oh really?

A: Don't let the mashed potatoes know

mashed potatos.... NNOOOOO!!

I'm going back in

Beany Weeny

Stop Laughing

Ahh!

I guess I just appreciate the brain power it takes to look at mashed potatos and green beans and come up with something so creative. lol

Flu-ent

2009-03-06T12:37:00.000-08:00

Well we are slowly but surely getting over the flu here, and let me tell you, there is nothing more pathetic than a 3 month old with the flu. Yes folks she staved it off for a while but little Norah Pearl has a whopping case of the super snotty, mucous making, scratchy throat high fever influenza type a. I must say that Abby wasn't too bad, yes a little whiney ( okay a lot whiney, like my whine-o-meter is full up for the next two years) but still manageable. Norah has this new cry, I think it is the pathetic baby in the woods cry, the they-left-me-here-to-die cry, the it-really-is-the-end cry, the mommies-heart-is-breaking-and-she-can't-even-help cry. Who knew it would be so devastatingly heartwrenching to have a sick baby. And she isn't even really all that sick. What about those poor kids who have chronic illnesses, MS? gulp even Cancer. ( ooohhh that big C word gives me the heebie geebies) I am so lucky that my children are healthy, yes they have the flu but this will pass, they don't have to have blood transfusions, or operations, organ transplants, radiation, or be told they are incureable. I can cuddle them and say that "everything will be alright" and MEAN IT, know for certain that at least this time it will.

I guess maybe there is a little faith here, that perhaps we have gone through so much with Seth that we can be spared anything else really big, that some part of me is certain that tackling skinned knees, snotty noses, and sleepless nights will be my blessing because Seth endured enough for all of us. Or at least I tell myself this to imagine some sort of balance in the universe, that there is some big ol' something looking out for me saying " you know that Meghan gal, she works really hard, let's skip the big stuff and leave her alone for a while, she really has had all she can handle at the moment."

And so I am holding fast to my conviction, it's just the flu and it will be over soon,

you won't be served more that you can handle,

persevere,

and come out of top.

One Row at a Time

2009-03-03T18:25:00.001-08:00

Alright, I finished a knitting project today.

That in and of itself is cause for celebration, a massive outpouring of applause complete with streamers and confetti is expected any moment now... but while I am waiting I'll type a little more to get the kink out of my neck from knitting and nursing at the same time.

The one thing about having children that drove me crazy was not having any time to create, by myself, alone, for massive amounts of time, without interruption. Where I could be a lonely angsty self centered obsessive compulsive nut job artist who only ate because ( well because I really do LOVE to eat, but I told myself it was because I HAD to). But now I realize that there are so many other better things, like knitting mittens for my 2 year old while nursing my 3 month old and watching Anne of Green Gables, remembering myself as an 8 year old.

It doesn't matter if it happens one row at a time, in between changing sides, answering phone calls, tucking in, changing diapers. It will get done, one row at a time, slowly slowly, eventually, it will get done. Time always moves, breath goes in and out, and toddlers can always smell when you are typing a blog post.

Oh goody Oh goody

2009-02-21T12:10:00.001-08:00

So , it is 12 pm , Abby is asleep and has a temperature with suspicious bumps on her bum. Norah is also asleep after deciding that she hates the carseat with the passion of a thousand blazing suns, enough indeed to scream all the way home until pulling into the driveway. Seth is nervewracked and anxious-pacing-tapping-scratching , gearing up for his re-eval and lonely plane ride. I am tired, and oh so looking forward to this lovely single parenting extravaganza. Oh Goody goody goody.

A shot from the last time Abby was sick, " No I can't _______ I'm too sick", substitute everything from eating and drinking to sitting, standing, playing, washing, being quiet , or lying down. This is going to be fun!

Just Abby and Me

2009-02-20T12:52:00.000-08:00

SO Abby and I went shopping today, just the two of us, and it was great. She started the day with practically sitting on top of her sister while I was nursing, then stroking-pushing-slapping-pinching-eating-sucking on my arm, which soon turned into a full out crying panicky run away from dad around the house episode. SOme Mommy time was needed badly. I was terrified of going, alone with her, in the new car, because of course she was going to want to walk instead of ride in the cart and of course she was going to grab things off hte shelf and of course she would find only the delicate, breakable, bruiseable things to pick up . But we survived, sometimes it is hard to remember that for a brief period of time she wants to be with me and just me more than I can ever know, that she doesn't need private time, that she can never have enough hugs and praise and love. That there are no strings attached to our relationship, that I can discipline her with counting out loud and explaining why, and how, and who and where. That her knowledge of the world grows every second, that she will think that I am the coolest for at least a little while and that all these things are perhaps the most amazing ever. No one told me that when I had children I would get to be the popular kid in the house, that someone would want to be me more that I do and that one little word or hug or kiss can make a day perfect and wonderful.

Panic Button

2009-02-19T13:13:00.000-08:00

Okay, well after a week visiting familyup in Canada we are finally back, walking in the front door, petting the cat, tucking in sleeping toddlers, checking on mail, ripping open Next Day delivery Fedex envelopes that came on the 13th. AH yes lucky 13? I think not, Seth has been scheduled for an Army TDRL re-evaluation on Monday, in Tacoma, you know Tacoma, like 5 hours away Tacoma, and yes even though five hours drive is nothing compared to the 12 hours we just came home from my heart is still sinking.

For those of you who know Seth suffers from PTSD a little trauma from playing in the Iraqi sandbox a few years ago and so lovely surprises like going to Tacoma in three days are not exactly welcome. No sorts of surprises are welcome at all, we do a alot of planning, sussing out of places, I accompany him to a new place the first, second, sometimes third time. Anxiety attacks are always waiting to jump, blood pressure is sky high, stuttering, lapse of cognitive ability and speech are possible, add this to surviving ten explosions a, traumatic brain injury, a crushed vertebrate, chipped kneecap, and nightmares and you might see why we spend a lot of time at home. Away from people...

SO at the moment I am booing and hissing, cursing and spitting, just generally thinking bad thought about a certain Debbra so and so who planned this attack on my household without any thought, compassion , or sensitivity towards the sanity of my dear dear Love.

The Ape Man Cometh

2009-02-06T12:00:00.000-08:00

SO, recently we purchased a new vehicle, pictured left, and I mean about two weeks ago. No we are not rich and yes we are feeling the economic crunch but really when you factor in a bit more money per month for a vehicle under warranty rather than a lesser amount of money and the possibility of thousands for an unwarrantied old vehicle... well you get the drift. However there were a few things still needing to be installed in our new vehicle, mostly perks which I am emabrassed to talk about like.. ahem.. a dvd player to brainwash and neutralize our children during long trips and cross bars so that we have the capability to haul even more crap around with us. Long story short the car is in the shop and we have a rental.... and let me say that my husband who is 6'3 does not and I mean DOES NOT fit into a Chevy Cobalt. Just doesn't, he looks like a circus clown who got lost on his way around the big top, his elbows poking over into the passenger area, his knees up beside the steering wheel, his neck slouched and head crunched and yet still jammed against the roof. Let's imagine for a minute a giraffe and an Austin Mini... with me still? now let's put in two carseats in the back, the one behind the driver's seat forcing it even closer to the steering wheel causing feet to over step gas and most importantly brake pedals. The angle on dashboard so steep that the speedometer can't be read with head jammed and neck crunched so exclamations of " How fast AM I going?" are frequent. And that because of head jammed and neck crunched every shoulder check takes us closer to mind numbing headache, and just thought I'd say that I am now totally at ease with my purchase of an 8 seater SUV.

And just thought I would mention that bugs are the new cool, not really all that new but very very cool at my house this month. We have bug dresses, bug dollies, bug diaper bags, it's really and infestation. ANd I think about my daughter who has an undying love for Bugs, Battle Tanks, Crafts, Dirt and Tinkerbelle, she really does make me smile :)

Errands Errands

2009-02-02T17:19:00.000-08:00

Spent the whole day running errands, out to the Air Force Base then the bank then the liscensing place. Sometimes after completeing sucha ridiculously busy day totally entwined in red tape I stumble in the door trip on my responsibilities and realize I might actually be an adult. This is before I notice the dog has been sleeping on the couch again, Abby will probably crash early and so needs supper, Norah wants to nurse, Seth and I need food, water and I still haven't gone to the bathroom. And then I think perhaps being an adult kind of sucks.... yessss you can have pizza whenever you want, but it sticks to your thighs like glue. Yessss.... you can stay up late watching movies but you still have to be up for the nursing at 3, and 7 and then the toddler at 8. Yessss.... you could can buy whatever you want but you still have to budget groceries, healthcare, dental, dog grooming, haircuts, car payments, mortgage among other things. It seemed soooo appealing when I was ten you know :)

Abby and her Papa before Norah was born and things seemed Normal :) lol

Got the Grungies

2009-02-01T12:54:00.000-08:00

Argh, got the grungies is right, everyone around here is sick except Seth in an ironic twist. As he is the one with little to no immune system I think it is just a matter of time. So in an attempt to feel like I have time to kill I am writing on this instead of sleeping, ahhh... pretending to have time to kill when really I have no time at all! Ah hah! Fooled you too I see :)

However I have great news, Norah's first smile was taken yesterday: and yes she is the impkin we all know she is. Not only a smile but a tongue out too! and just for comparison here is her sister's first recorded smile:

Can you tell they are sister's or what?

And just because I am feeling sentimental this morning, as well as shitty, I will include this picture to cap off the post. It's from our old house, my very first house I ever considered my own that I got to paint and decorate any which way I wanted. There is something about Texas in the morning, something about the light. I always enjoyed waking up in that house in the morning with the light streaming into the room and making me feel like anything was possible, creative possibilities were endless. And of course waking up next to these two cuties was great too, here is Abby at 6 months.

Ah yes , perhaps the eye of the storm

2009-01-31T12:25:00.000-08:00

Well, this week was interesting, had a great time with friends and something new and exciting everyday. Especially the part where Abby ripped not one but two beautiful story books to utter shreds. Ah yes that was definately new and exciting, especially when after ripping the second one she came out onto the couch and with a smile says " I was a bad girl and ripped my bear book". ARRGGHH!!! How exactly does one express to a two year old how sacred a book is? How can you explain that we will never ask her to attend a church, synangogue or temple but we ABSOLUTELY REQUIRE the respect and appreciation for the knowledge present between two covers of a book. That ripping up a book is denying knowledge, that separating the pages from the spine is removing the possibility of growth and intelligence.

It can't be done I suppose, respect takes a lifetime to grow and only when she can read the books herself will she really care for them. Look back over the shelves and relive her life according to the covers and words that accompanied her along it, but all I ask is a small small thing.. destroy something else my dear.

Okay ranting is over, there are expectations and then there are unlikely wishes and when your child is two and a half.. you take the books out of her room and don't leave her alone with them again. As for me? my therapy was taping them up again, every last shred put back together an attempt to appease who knows what ; but really it made me feel better.

And as for Norah who is too small to be ripping books, she has grown 3 inches in 8 weeks, No you say? oh yes I say she may be tall like her dad :) lol

Pulling teeth

2009-01-23T13:28:00.000-08:00

Wht is it so hard to get a two year old to eat, I mean really! especially since NOrah was born the one thing Abby will NOT do by herself is eat her damn food. It's like puttingon a circus performance every meal time. There is the pleading and the cajoling, then the threatening with no dessert, no walks with the dog, no stories before bed, no fun.. ever. I can't stand the bargaining and the having to take away things that she loves only so that she will eat bites of life sustaining food so we can carry on and play! Aargh!! ona brighter note she has decided that the deer tracks in the back yard are really reindeer tracks from when Santa was here at Christmas time.

Christmas was so fun this year, albeit a little stressful with Norah being so small and such. I would have to say that sleep is better than no sleep when there is family visiting. And here is my little bright eyes angel herself, Norah Pearl, I swear your sister will like you one day, and i wish you to be the best of friends. To have someone who will outlast the fickle freindships of childhood, and perservere through any calamity.

First time's not usually a charm

2009-01-22T13:35:00.000-08:00

Here we are, after reading months and months of another mom's posting I have finally decided to give this a whirl. What is so compelling about reading another person's intimate thoughts on the internet, I suppose it is the feeling of not being alone, not being the only one who wishes to be listened too. As the newest member of our family, Norah 6 weeks stirs in her sling against my body I realize I am not the only mother typing one-handed upstairs, the other hand soothing her newborn, praying that the toddler downstairs is indeed asleep. So why should anyone care what happens in my house? How could anyone check this blog everytime they logon? Well we'll see I suppose.

Today was a pretty good day so far, missed my weekly mother's meeting as I voted to stay in bed trying to sleep past Norah's scheduled 9:30 wakeup time. WHat is it with my children and schedules? I am probably the most unscheduled person on the planet, loving spontaneity craving random happenings, but Abby and Norah are like clockwork, same things, same times, they even nap and poop at the same times. funny but true.

This picture pretty well sums up Abby's behavior as of late, not exactly adjusting to a new little sister. But really after being the sole attention receiver of two parents at home 24\7 for her whole life can I really expect anything more? probably not.

Well off to maybe do some knitting before everyone wakes up again, oh and trying to convince myself that the 50% at Papa Murphey's really isn't worth the 50%more weight gain.. still trying........ still..... ahem...

Milk Stupor

"Mom those butterflies are really bothering me"

4 pounds of strawberries

Ruminations on Ukrainian Prairie food and Sick PreSchoolers

The best kind ever

The Snowy Day

Dollhouse interior

Finally... keeping up with the Jones's

Time Well Spent

Another Year has sprung itself upon us eh?

The Magic of Santa: Guest Post

Happy Birthday Norah!

On Turkey and Cultural Amalgamation

Tis' the Season to go Shopping

NaBloPoWha?

Hallowe'en

The Calm Before

Harvest update

Lunch with Ponyo

Good Gravy, where has it all gone?

Rain Rain here to stay

Pretzels and Komodo Dragons

Mother's Day

That New Baby Sweetness

I can't keep it all together, so I've given up the power to the little people

Dancing in the Street

Broken Brain

Keeeaaaiiiii

Wow am I ever a whiner!

Again with the sicky sicky sicky

Just a little nostalgia

Cyber Trash

Mostly here

Norah Norah Norah we Adore Ya

Puppy for Sale!!

What the Hell were they thinking?

The Lulling tonic of Bob

*Sigh*

*&%$ you Mayan Calender of Doom!

The Sicky Sicky Doldrums

So much for that

Cuteness factor one million

I would post but I'm too busy knitting

*Yawn*

I'm here I'm here!

And soon to be all grown up

That little green eyed monster

Five things I am grateful for

The long sigh...

And just for good measure

What have I been eating this month?

Dog days of Summer

In Hiding

Just in case we were bored...

Buggy Buggy Buggy Bumpers

You must build a fire

Coral

Love, Mindblowing, Earthshattering, Breathcatching Love

Home again Home again jiggety jig

I wanna be a superhero when I grow up

My Dad is an awesome Gardener

Broken Hands

Distractions

Keep Singing!

Duck and Cover

Leaf in the Wind

Moving on...

Tired

"The first guy in my world"

Mommy, a blue duck!

Norah ... sick

The Bean of All

Flu-ent

One Row at a Time

Oh goody Oh goody

Just Abby and Me

Panic Button

The Ape Man Cometh

Errands Errands

Got the Grungies

Sigh

Yawn